Grief

Macmillan Encyclopedia of Death and Dying, (2003) by ROBERT KASTENBAUM, KENNETH J. DOKA, JOAN BEDER, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, NORMAN L. FARBEROW, MARGARET STROEBE, WOLFGANG STROEBE, HENK SCHUT, LILLIAN M. RANGE

The death of a member who performed a number of task-oriented roles presents adjustment difficulties if survivors are ill equipped to assume those roles. On the other hand, if the deceased member was dysfunctional and held a nonfunctional role in the family, adjustment may be minimally stressful. Rigid families with limited communication tend to allocate roles according to age and sex-role stereotypes with little negotiation. In flexible families roles are assigned through negotiation and based on member interest and competency. The death of children who played expressive roles leaves enormous psychic pain but does not necessitate task reassignment. Expressive roles, however, are also vital to maintaining family stability and cannot be left vacant for a long time. An empty space created by a child's death may exacerbate family problems that the child's presence kept at a distance. The death of a child who served to hold the parents' marriage together, for instance, can threaten the marital bond in bereavement. Sometimes a parent's continued attachment to the deceased child makes the parent inaccessible to others and poses problems in reorganization. Some parents start volunteer work or a project in memory of their child, which not only fills the void but brings new meaning to their lives.

Children who lost a parent or a sibling also confront changes in relationships with their parents as well as their siblings. With the death of a parent, older children may assume new roles to fulfill those roles formerly performed by the deceased or to support a depressed parent. Danger lies in children not only helping with household responsibilities or care of young siblings but assuming adult roles inappropriate to their age. Clear delineation of children's roles and responsibilities helps to prevent children from compromising their own normal development and possibly creating conflicts with siblings.

Family Resources

Families and their members differ in economic, personal, and social resources available to them in the process of family mourning and reorganization. Reduced socio-economic status due to death or a family's low material resources can negatively affect adjustment in bereavement. On the other hand, personal resources including such individual characteristics as viewing life as a series of challenges and having pride, motivation, and a sense of control over life, help members make a better adjustment in bereavement.

Social support is a critical resource in coping with bereavement. The presence of others (kin, friends, neighbors, employers, coworkers, and even strangers in the community) who offer emotional and material support helps bereaved family members validate and mourn their immense loss and meet their daily needs when their ability to support themselves is seriously impaired. Those who are part of a cohesive cultural or religious group are likely to receive considerable support from others in the group. The types and amount of support the family needs differ depending on the family and the loss suffered, and family and individual needs change with time. Families isolated with minimal contact with others in the community and possessing limited resources are at risk for complications in bereavement. Families lacking social support due to stigma attached to their loved one's death as well as those whose needs are not adequately met through their usual sources of support may seek or augment support from outside the family. When the family faces serious difficulties in coping with the loss, assistance from professionals may be in order. Support groups designed to provide mutual support for those in a similar predicament are also found to be valuable sources of help for both bereaved children and adults. Often the most helpful emotional support comes from those who have experienced a similar loss.