Grief

Macmillan Encyclopedia of Death and Dying, (2003) by ROBERT KASTENBAUM, KENNETH J. DOKA, JOAN BEDER, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, NORMAN L. FARBEROW, MARGARET STROEBE, WOLFGANG STROEBE, HENK SCHUT, LILLIAN M. RANGE

Where men and women are found on this continuum. Martin and Doka suggested that many men, at least in Western culture, are likely to be found on the instrumental end of this continuum whereas women are more likely to be found on the intuitive end. The researchers stressed, however, that while gender does influence the pattern of grief, that pattern is not determined by gender. Martin and Doka also noted that many individuals in the center of the continuum may show more blended patterns, using a range of emotional, behavioral, and cognitive strategies to adapt to loss.

Culture and Gender

It is critical to remember that any discussion of gender differences in grief, or even of patterns of grief that are influenced by gender, must take into account cultural differences. Culture influences grief in a number of ways. First, each culture has norms that govern the ways in which grief is appropriately expressed. In some cultures these norms can differ between genders. In a 1976 study, Paul Rosenblatt and his associates found that in the sixty societies they surveyed, thirty-two had no differences in the expectation of crying between men and women. In the remaining twenty-eight, women were allowed more emotional expressiveness. Second, each culture defines relationships in different ways, which influences the level of attachment. These relationship definitions may also differ by gender.

SUICIDE

The death of a loved one is almost always followed by a period of mourning and bereavement accompanied by many different feelings, including loss, grief, shock, denial, despair, depression, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, guilt, shame, relief, and anger. Physical symptoms are also common, among them fatigue, sleep and appetite disturbances, apathy, withdrawal, and agitation. Some scholars have contended that bereavement after a suicide is the most trying of all because of the suicide's presumed emotional suffering and the consequent voluntary decision to die. This factor, with its implication of rejection and desertion, has special impact on some survivors. Moreover, a suicide is often complicated by society's negative reactions toward both the decedent and the family, which make bereavement more difficult.

The variation in scholarly opinion on the nature and difficulties of bereavement reflects different methodological approaches in research in this area, such as the use of appropriate control groups for comparison, variability in kinship comparisons, time elapsed after death, and so on. Mark Cleiren, for example, found more differences between groups compared by kinship, such as parents versus spouses, siblings, or children, than between groups compared by mode of death, such as suicide versus accident, homicide, or natural causes. Nevertheless, many researchers report a greater risk of complicated bereavement after a suicide death than after other kinds of deaths, including less emotional support and more physical illness, depression, and anxiety. Other researchers have concluded that the feelings and reactions of survivors of suicide are really no different from the reactions that ensue from other modes of death and that the differences that do appear are more in intensity than in kind. The psychologist Sheila Clark has described the differences as "both minimal and mythical" and points to the relatively few quantitative differences when outcomes after different modes of death are compared. She argues the importance of dispelling the myth of this difference because she believes that it engenders the expectation of a more difficult bereavement.