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Grief
Macmillan Encyclopedia of Death and Dying, (2003) by ROBERT KASTENBAUM, KENNETH J. DOKA, JOAN BEDER, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, REIKO SCHWAB, KENNETH J. DOKA, NORMAN L. FARBEROW, MARGARET STROEBE, WOLFGANG STROEBE, HENK SCHUT, LILLIAN M. RANGE
Supporting this view, one study found that for 70 to 85 percent of persons who experienced a sudden, potentially traumatizing bereavement, the search for meaning played a compelling role in their grief. A significant minority, however, apparently coped straightforwardly with their loss, without engaging in deep reflection about its significance. For those who seek meaning and find none, the loss can be excruciating. These people report suffering intensely on a variety of dimensions. Conversely, bereaved persons who find a measure of meaning in the loss fare better, rivaling the adjustment of those who never feel the need to undertake a quest for meaning in the first place. In addition, many of those who find answers as to why the loss occurred revisit these answers in the months that follow.
Related to this emphasis on meaning is the assumption that describing one's thoughts and emotions about the traumatic grief promotes cognitive restructuring. Sharing with others allows bereaved individuals to restructure the difficult aspects of the loss, to explore ways of viewing themselves, and to regulate their own distressing emotions and bodily reactions.
Suggestions for Fostering Recovery
Traumatic grief does not respond to psychotherapy that is focused on interpersonal adjustment such as how the person gets along with others, whether or not this therapy includes antidepressant medicine. However, therapy that is oriented toward helping bereaved persons develop insight about their own lives, or to change their thoughts and behaviors, can be effective for those suffering from traumatic grief. Successful therapy includes a genuine, empathic, and compassionate relationship with the therapist and education about the bereavement.
Specific therapy for traumatic grief would focus on separation and traumatic distress. Treatment would include educating bereaved individuals about this type of distress, and helping them cope with it. Treatment would also include working with the person to lessen the distress in the first place. In addition, therapy should help the bereaved person to adapt to the new status caused by the bereavement and to the new roles required by that status.
Further, therapy would recognize that a quest for meaning plays a prominent role in grieving, at least for those who are bereaved by the sudden death of a loved one. When a bereaved person is struggling for significance in the loss, a counselor should facilitate this process. Grief counselors should be cautious, however, about instigating a search for meaning in the minority of bereaved persons do not spontaneously undertake such a search. These individuals might be coping adaptively already. Further, making meaning is more an activity than an achievement. Early, provisional meanings of the death tend to be revisited as the reality of living with loss raises new questions and undermines old answers.
Simply disclosing oneself to others may or may not be helpful, depending in part on the receptivity of would-be listeners. Some potential listeners may be overwhelmed by repeated communication of intense negative states, such as sadness or distress. Talking to them about feelings may drive away people who might otherwise offer some interpersonal support. Therefore, bereaved individuals need to be selective in the persons with whom they share their thoughts and feelings.
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