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Thank you for not coughing; Memo to staff: coughing is no longer allowed. If you must cough, your pay will be docked. And I'm just the doc to dock it.(Chair Side)

Review of Optometry, May, 2006 by Vickers, Montgomery

Back in my carefree bachelor days, I shared an apartment with a dude who coughed constantly. He coughed about every two minutes on average. Now, I am an empathetic soul. Ask anyone. But, after three years of hack hack hack, I prayed every day that this fellow would either get well or die. Unfortunately, neither happened, so I just went insane, little by little ...

Now, when I hear a cough, I have a flashback. The hair stands up on the back of my neck. My breathing becomes shallow and fast. I perspire profusely. I consider homicide. (Cue evil cackling: "Hahahahahahahahahah ...")

Today, I sit in my office with two of my three staff members who are coughing madly. As I have such a small staff, I cannot send them home unless they have a temperature...

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