No River Wide

Southern Review, The, Spring, 2007 by Robert Boswell

" What ' s her problem? "

" Mistaken identity, " Greta says casually, as if it happens to her all the time. She swings the shoes against her thigh, feeling drunk and sweaty, barefoot, scorned and sexy, as if she ' s Bette Davis or Marlene Dietrich, a woman with intrigues and desires and a taste for trouble. She feels bold. " Are you married? "

" At the moment? "

She laughs and puts her arms around his neck, kisses him on the lips. She tastes bourbon on his tongue. She slips her fingers inside the waistband of his gray slacks and whispers in his ear. " You don ' t move for a second. Let me do this. " She unbuckles his belt and pulls it partway free. She slides her arms around his waist, puts her mouth to his ear. " You missed a loop. "

On the front lawn they join Ellen and a few others, including the hostess, " the bitch, " whom Greta met briefly. Her name is Penny, and the straps of her black dress have slid down her shoulders, revealing the white of her breasts. The V in the back shows her panties. It ' s a dress aching to come off.

They begin the trek to Ellen ' s house to the tune of " Hotel California, " sung by a stray man from the party. His voice has range but he lacks control, emoting through the song as if the lyrics have no meaning. Greta has seen actors perform this way, milking each scene even though it makes the character incoherent. There have been times in her life when she felt conflicting urges: to behave in her best interest, to make the most of the moment.

When they pass an elementary school with a colorful plastic slide and jungle gym, Greta recalls the playground at Euclid Square where she first met Ellen, where they watched kids and talked about their lives.

Oh, how they had loved each other.

Ellen strolls a few feet away, her arms wrapped around her thin torso, lost in calculation. Does she really want Andrew? Something subterranean is guiding the evening; Greta guesses it must be love. What does she want herself? For Ellen to seduce him? That will leave her with the bad singer or one of the other men. Sex with strangers often interests but rarely compels her. With Duncan, sex served an additional purpose. It reminded her who she was. It taught her who she loved. It fed the flimsy and hard-to-hold thing she came to think of as her soul. Sex with strangers inevitably disappoints. It feels good some of the time, but it is momentary and meaningless, like any other workout.

Penny continues to play hostess, even as they distance themselves from her house. " There used to be an estuary here. It ' s underground now. Been that way for ages. But they left the bridge, a metal bridge that had gone over the water. It was here a long time. "

" I remember that, " Andrew says. " I didn ' t grow up on this side of town, but I remember a bridge over nothing. "

" It was only a foot or two off the ground once they filled in under it, " Penny continues. " The joke in high school was to jump off the bridge. How we dealt with heartbreak. "