Caring for each other, 'warts and all'

Kai Tiaki: Nursing New Zealand, August, 2006 by Susanne Osborne

Having followed the arguments for and against publication of the photo essay in the May issue of Kai Tiaki Nursing New Zealand, I would like to bring to the attention of the detractors the huge educational value such exposure brings. This factor, in my view, far outweighs the "PC" arguments citing so-called abuses of privacy, dignity and vulnerability. The appropriate consents were obtained and the elderly themselves more than recognised the value of exposing the truth about their circumstances and predicaments to the wider, uncaring society who has banished them.

There seems to be a great fear in this youth and beauty-crazed culture of ours of acknowledging and accepting the reality of aging, infirmity, disability and death. What are we afraid of? Our own mortality and fragility, perhaps? We're now finding all sorts of PC excuses why we should not be faced with the realities of the unsightly, the deformed and the disabled.

It's a case of out of sight, out of mind and please don't confront my Remuera-latte set with such vulgarities! Once upon a time, all such real-life issues were dealt with in the home by the extended family. Children were brought up caring for their elderly and infirm relatives, and, as a result, developed empathy and compassion, love and concern for others, as part of their everyday life.

Today's younger generation, however, has been able to divest itself of all such responsibility and obligation by putting our needy, time-consuming and burdensome family members into institutions. It is little wonder some experience "culture-shock" when the elderly, infirm, disfigured and disabled are exposed for all to see. How can our young learn what the real issues of life are if they're never exposed to them? How will they know life is a very fragile and tempered existence and they're not 10-foot tall and bullet proof? How writ they learn to appreciate what they have before it's gone? Will future generations suffer "culture-shock" too, when faced with a naked baby and its tendency to defecate randomly and at will?

Surely the real purpose of our existence is to love and care for each other, "warts and all", no matter the cost to ourselves, and for the benefit of each other. In this way we will create a kinder, more tolerant society.

Susanne Osborne, RN, Invercargill