THE HEAT INDEX; Weekly rating (0-10) of sizzle and fizzle.(MediaWorks)

Advertising Age, April, 2008

10 ELAINE Still alive! The owner of New York media hangout Elaine's is fine, despite New York Post Editor Col Allen assigning a reporter to write her obit.

7 PAW PAW Martha Stewart wrote an obit of sorts for her dog, Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow, with pictures including his final resting place among the crocuses.

4 NINA GARCIA Out of her post at Elle, she's in limbo while they try to sort out what title she can have and still be a "Project Runway" judge.

1 NEW YORK TIMES Despite trying mightily to avoid layoffs with buyout packages, Times warns it will have to resort to first newsroom cuts in history.