PARENTS OF 'PROBLEM' CHILDREN SHARE MOM'S SECRET SHAME

uExpress, June, 2009 by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: Please print this for "Ashamed in California" (March 28), who feels tremendous guilt for "not loving" her hard-to-manage son. I'm a psychotherapist and the mother of two boys, one of whom is "difficult."

The reason "Ashamed" hasn't heard other moms admit to having negative feelings toward their child is they, too, feel shame. Like her, they have accepted the idea that mothers are supposed to be perfect and feel positive toward their children all the time, even if they're behaving badly.

In my clinical practice, ALL the mothers admit to not liking their kids at times. Advising "Ashamed" to have her son evaluated for a possible disorder was good advice. But if she does and there is no diagnosis, her son could simply be a headstrong child. (They usually grow...

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