The Agenda: April
Esquire, April, 2000
Stretch plastic wrap across the toilet!
Superglue a quarter to the floor! Toss a cap pistol into the boss's carry-on! Gentlemen, it's that blame-fool month again, and when people get angry, commit yourself to a Ward Eight (2 parts bourbon, 1 part lemon juice, clash grenadine, sugar, shake and strain) and join the April 2000 birthday party; Marion Brando and Carmen Electra, Robert Downey Jr. and Camille Paglia, Peter Frampton and Aaron Spelling. And remember: It's the wise fool who has the king's ear, though the fool's wiser still if he's got photos of the king with his secretary. Or something.
Week 1
Spring forward, as they say, what with daylight savings on the 2nd, also the birthday of philanderer-rogue Casanova and the day Ann Landers sets aside to mend...
- 5 Rules for Immediate Annuities
- Death in the Family: 12 Things to Do Now
- Dumbest Things You Do With Your Money
- 6 Online Networking Mistakes to Avoid
- 401(k) Mistakes to Avoid
- 5 Economic Scenarios to Keep You Up at Night
- The Real ‘Best Places to Retire’
- Best Credit Cards for You
- 12 Tough Questions to Ask Your Parents
- The Real ‘Best Colleges’
- Home Buyer Tax Credit: How to Cash In
- Why You Shouldn't Bash Cash
- 8 Phony 'Bargains' and Better Alternatives
- Danger: 3 Debit Card Scams to Avoid
- 6 Myths About Gas Mileage
- 29 Fees We Hate Most
- Quick and Easy Ways to Boost Returns
- Best Stocks to Buy Now
- Lower Your Taxes: 10 Moves to Make Now
- New Jobs: 8 Lessons from Real-Life Career Switchers
- The New Job Market: Who Wins and Who Loses?
- Health Care Reform's Public Option: Everything You Need to Know
- Volunteer Work When Unemployed: Should You Work for Free?
- Whose Recovery Is This?
- Long-Term-Care Insurance: 4 Biggest Risks to Avoid
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