THIS WAY OUT: Mrs. Glickman's Deposition

Esquire, January, 2001 by Alan Zweibel

Setting: A lawyer's office in Los Angeles.

Situation: Two years ago, I was involved in an auto accident with an eighty-one-year-old woman. Although my insurance company made several attempts to settle with her, she was now suing me.

Her claim: That, as a result of injuries sustained from the accident, this now eighty-three-year-old woman has not been able to sexually satisfy her eighty-seven-year-old husband.

In attendance: Me, the woman, her husband, my attorney, her attorney, and a very fat female court reporter.

Note: The following were the exchanges--not entirely faithful, perhaps, but the way I remember them--between my attorney and the now eighty-three-year-old woman unless otherwise indicated. (And I've also changed the old crone's name.)...