Andy Rooney Changes Name to 'Puff Daddy'

Newsweek, April, 2001 by Andy Borowitz (Borowitz is the author of 'The Trillionaire Next Door.' He is a regular contributor of humor to both The New Yorker and New York Times and publishes his own Web site: www.sexytrillionaire.com)

Within minutes of Sean "Puffy" Combs's announcement that he would henceforth be called "P. Diddy" rather than "Puff Daddy," Andy Rooney of CBS's "60 Minutes" made a pre-emptive bid to scoop up the Puff Daddy name.

Television insiders speculated that the ornery commentator may have changed his name to Puff Daddy in order to attract younger viewers to "60 Minutes," which has seen its audience shrink-and grow older-in recent years.

Rooney was not the only personality interested in acquiring the coveted moniker, according to sources close to the negotiations. Steve Forbes, trying to re-invigorate a moribund political career, also made a bid. So did Alan Alda, who is rumored to be tiring of hosting tedious science shows for PBS.

Rooney, who has asked to be called...

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