White House Is Recruiting Average Citizen to Watch Super Bowl with Bush
Newsweek, January, 2002 by Andy Borowitz (Andy Borowitz won the 2001 Dot-Comedy Award for Best Humor Columnist on the Net. His Web site is www.borowitzreport.com)
In the aftermath of the frightening incident in which President George W. Bush choked on a pretzel and fell off a couch while watching football on TV, the White House has moved aggressively to recruit an average citizen to watch the Super Bowl with Mr. Bush.
"The whole pretzel thing happened because the president was alone," says one White House source. "And the president was alone because he couldn't get anyone to watch TV with him."
Exactly why Mr. Bush, the leader of the free world, had difficulty finding anyone in the White House willing to watch football with him is unclear. Insiders speculate, however, that it may have had something to do with the president's habit of calling associates by jocular but sometimes irritating nicknames.
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