Intuition | Parents die, life goes on, but love and pain remain

Philadelphia Inquirer, The, March, 2006 by Karen Heller

When we were cleaning out the family house, we found a book on caring for parents in their old age. My mother was always buying self-help tomes.

This purchase seemed especially cruel. She never needed that book, as her mother, vigorous until the end, died at home, days shy of her 91st birthday. My father's mother died on his 70th birthday.

Then again, we never made use of the book, either.

My parents were gone by the time I found it. My mother died at age 64 and my father, four years later in 2001, that abysmal year, at age 73.

No one makes plans to become parentless. The whole concept of an adult orphan seems ludicrous, considering how many unfortunate children lose parents before they're ready.

But you're never ready. The longer people are around, the more you get used to them being there. Grieving isn't ...