I'll turn this holiday around right now!

0 Comments | Philadelphia Inquirer, The, October, 2007 | by Alfred Lubrano Inquirer Staff Writer

News item:  Concerned about inappropriate costumes, a suburban Long Island high school recently banned all Halloween costumes and curtailed Halloween activities.

 

From:  The principal of Paris Hilton Country Day School

To:  Our esteemed parents

Re:  Canceling Halloween forever. And ever.

With the pungent memory (and extensive smoke damage) of last year's Halloween uppermost in our minds, it is our considered opinion (and our legal counsel's expressed wish) that we forgo the holiday's celebration this and all subsequent years.

First off, we want to apologize to our pagan parents for the third grade's impromptu - and illegal - re-creation of the Salem witch trials.

That little Tiffany Pug pinched a nerve in her neck while being held...