Women and Kaddish

Judaism, Summer, 1995 by Joel B. Wolowelsky

Kol Bo Al Avelut is an encyclopedic collection of all responsa on death-related issues. The author knows of no source or custom that allows women to say Kaddish in the synagogue; still, it is "pashut (simply obvious)" he writes, that she may not. He is, however, willing to consider the question of her saying Kaddish in a private minyan. He mentions Ba'er Heitev's quoting Keneset Yehezkel,s opinion that the daughter may not say Kaddish in shul, but omits the former's ruling that she may do so at a private minyan. The author quotes the permissive ruling of Shevut Yaakov but dismisses it as a lone opinion. "If she wants," he concludes, "let her go to the women's section in the synagogue and answer `Amen' when Kaddish is said [by the men]."(26) Unfortunately, if she goes to weekday services at many-if not most -- Orthodox synagogues, she will find that the bet midrash ("chapel") used has no ezrat nashim.

One cannot deny an author the right to side with those authorities who forbid a daughter to say Kaddish. But he must be prepared to include in his presentation those sources with which he does not agree. The halakhic legitimacy of women saying Kaddish is unassailable even if not universally accepted. Thus, even if a rabbi feels that it is in society's best interest not to allow an orphaned daughter to say Kaddish, he should make it clear that he knows that other poskim hold otherwise. That is the approach responsible poskim regularly follow in all other areas of halakhah when answering personal questions. In a healthy halakhic community, people generally feel bound by their personal halakhic authority.

While many will pass up the opportunity to exercise an option which all agree is not obligatory, finding solace in a more passive role, a woman who regularly attends shul will feel resentment when she learns later that a most meaningful, legitimate option was withheld from her. The rabbi, in his role as counselor, has an obligation to bring all legitimate options to the attention of the mourner.

NOTES

(1.) Aryeh A. Frimer, "Women and Minyan" Tradition 23 (Summer 1988): 4, p. 64. Also see Rochelle L. Millen "Birkhat Hagomel: Cultural Context and Halakhic Practice" Judaism 43 (Summer 1994), no. 3, pp. 270-78, and, Communications: "Birkhat Hagomel," Judaism 44 (Winter 1995) no. 1, pp. 115-117.

(2.) Rabbi Moshe Sternbach, Responsa Teshuvot veHanhagot (Jerusalem, 5741 [1981]), vol. 4, responsum 15, pp. 75-78.

(3.) Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, Responsa Yehave Da-at (Jerusalem, 5746 [1981]), vol. 4, responsum 15, pp. 75-78.

(4.) Ibid., p. 78.

(5.) Rabbi Naftali Zvi Roth, "Azkara vehaftara vekaddish yetom," Talpiyot, 7:2-4, Tishrei 5721 [1961], pp. 369-81.

(6.) Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik, "A Eulogy for the Talner Rebbe," in Joseph Epstein, ed., Shiurei Harav: A Conspectus of Public Lectures of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik (New York: Hamevaser, 1974), p. 20.

(7.) Roth, p. 375.

(8.) Rabbi Yair Bakhrakh, Responsa Havvot Ya'ir, number 222.

(9.) Rabbi Yehuda Ashkenazi, Ba'er Heitev, commentary to Orah Hayyim, section 132, n. 5, p. 27 in vol. 2 of standard Mishnah Berurah.