An exercise in intimacy

American Fitness, July-August, 1990 by Jill Press, Robert Hoffman

An Exercise In Intimacy

Laura Keeler turned off the audio-cassette player. A few of her students were giggling. The room temperature at the London Workout Teachers' Training Center seemed to have risen 20 degrees.

"What were those two people doing?" Keeler challenged the classroom of fitness professionals. Her question was met with silence.

Eventually Keeler broke the unease by explaining the couple on the tape were simply enjoying a series of intimate exercises developed by Keeler and her staff at the Philadelphia-based London Workout Teachers' Training Center. "Sexycises" as they are affectionately called by Keeler, could actually be considered a by-product of research conducted by the center. Keeler was interested in learning about the problems faced by couples where at least one of the partners exercised regularly. Keeler and her staff came to the startling conclusion exercise can be harmful to the health of a relationship.

"In those relationships where just one of the partners exercised regularly, we found all types of problems," says Keeler. "It's hard enough for a couple to find a balance between their work and love life. So when you throw exercise into the mix it's one more factor that needs to be balanced. In almost all cases, exercise cuts into time spent with one's partner as opposed to one's job. You wouldn't believe the jealousy this creates."

With those relationships where both persons exercised regularly, the problems were more subtle, as Keeler learned consulting with Susan B. Amsterdam, a noted Philadelphia psychologist and family therapist. Throughout the '80s, as the personal fitness industry mushroomed, Dr. Amsterdam started to see a growing number of couples who claimed exercise contributed to problems in their relationships. "Exercise becomes a natural metaphor for a relationship, because exercise has a way of flushing out issues," says Amsterdam. "In exercise there are the questions of ego, control, trust, balance, compromise and adequacy. There are a lot of power dynamics going on, especially when a couple exercises together."

Rather than focus on any negative aspect of exercise, Keeler worked with her staff to come up with something positive. "From the research, we saw that there was a need to develop a series of physiologically and psychologically sound exercises for couples. We ended up creating Sexycises."

Keeler says the exercises invite honest response. "As part of a duo, getting to know one's limits takes on a new dimension -- getting to know one's body in conjunction to the rhythm of another. They support and encourage each other, but at the same time offer immediate critiques. By sweating and aching together, couples begin to break down the barriers which had been built up over the years. Most people find it easier to give than receive, but acceptance of what the other person is giving is a sign of trust and confidence."

In addition to strengthening relationships, the London Workout's intimate exercises provide a means for physical conditioning. "Here's a back stretch," says Keeler, "that surpasses any solo effort. Learn to adjust your body to suit the stretch. Too much or not enough may mean your partner tumbles to the ground," she cautions. As partners perfect their technique they learn to accommodate one another. This helps to develop awareness and consideration for each other.

Buddy/Back Stretch

* Stand facing your partner, arm's-distance away. * Feet are placed comfortably under hips, knees slightly bent. * Extend arms and hold partner's hands. * Slowly bend and crouch down, holding onto each other,

creating balance between your bodies. * Extend bottoms up, creating slight tension between bodies. * With arms outstretched and knees softly bent, pull away from

each other for 10 counts. * Repeat three times, holding each time to the slow count of 10.

This next exercise helps firm the abdominal muscles and stretch the back. It works synergistically by stretching the front and back alternately. It is much safer than a modified sit-up because pressure from the partner's body provides excellent support. This pressure/support then helps keep the legs outstretched, additionally working the hamstrings and calves.

Tummy Crunches-Holding Hands

* Lie on your back, legs extended. * Slide legs up to a 90-degree angle and rest them against

partner's legs. * Wiggle yourselves until your bottoms touch each other. Not

only does this feel cozy, it provides good support. * Reach to hold each other's hands. * Slowly, one partner lifts the other up into a tummy crunch. * Take turns slowly pulling and releasing, never bouncing. * Work up to 10 slow and deliberate repetitions for each partner.

Keeler suggests communicating throughout all these exercises with questions appropriate to the exercise, such as: "Honey, am I giving you enough support?" "Do you feel secure enough to trust me?"

While such verbalizations are intrinsic to the purpose of intimate exercise, the following exercise stands on its own, making each repetition a sensual experience.