From geek 2 freak? With a posse of gurus, a writer begins his journey

Muscle & Fitness, Nov, 2005 by Grant Stoddard

You might wonder what you could possibly learn about muscular development from a pasty, 149-pound weakling with emerging bitch tits and a modest but undeniable spare tire. Consider me the guinea pig for a long-form experiment in improving strength, muscle mass and definition from the ground up, unencumbered by bad gym habits, unhindered by outdated techniques and dietary misinformation--not to mention ready to ask the questions you might not have thought about for years. In the past, I lacked the willpower, the desire and the discipline to make any sort of physical transformation. I was beginning to think that I'd have the body of an inactive 13-year-old boy forevermore. Then I met Stu.

In the morning rush-hour streets of midtown Manhattan, Stuart Bernstein, 30, sticks out like an incredibly muscular sore thumb. Eight weeks out from the NPC USA Championships in Las Vegas, Stu is one of the most physically freakish individuals in this notoriously svelte city, evidenced by people literally stopping dead in their tracks, looking on in awe, nudging their friends, pointing. We shake hands, and I suddenly realize that this is the first time I have gotten up close to someone with comic-book muscularity. With an intense look and his eyes shielded behind wraparound shades, he is, at first, extremely intimidating. Stu has come into the city from his home in Amityville, Long Island, to impart some of his knowledge to a pencilneck like me, and he can barely contain his contempt as he lifts up his shades and looks me up and down.

"Well," he says. "We certainly have our work cut out."

Over coffee, we discuss the details of this project--converting me to a physical specimen like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Stuart talks about bodybuilding with the zeal of an evangelist. "It will dramatically change you physically and mentally for the better," he promises me.

During our meeting, Stuart apologizes for spacing out due to his extreme low-carb diet. In two days, Stu will compete in the Bev Francis Atlantic States contest in downtown New York. He assures me that his already heroic muscularity will be greatly enhanced by competition time. "By Saturday my conditioning should be perfect," he explains. "I will have completely filled out; I will be super-dry and shredded."

Backstage Pass

Two days later, I find myself backstage at the Tribeca Arts Center at the Atlantic States competition. Freshly painted men and women are pumping up and throwing poses for preshow pictures. The quality of the tanning runs the gamut, from an even coverage of neo-natural deep bronze to guys who look fresh from a sprint through a Tijuana sewer. All the female competitors seem to have the tanning down and, while initially squeamish about their incredible physiques, I almost instantly transform into an ardent admirer of these fantastical women.

Even in the throng of mahogany-tinted hunks in trunks, I spot Stu immediately. Intense doesn't begin to describe the look on his face. To my eyes, he looks much larger, dryer and more vascular, as he'd prophesized. Stu is secretly less than thrilled about his conditioning. Conversation is brief as his girlfriend Lisette, a makeup artist, puts the final touches to his flaw less tan.

On this occasion, Stu places fifth in the heavyweight division. He later attributes this disappointing finish to a last-minute error in his diet and the extremely high caliber of the competition. The Atlantic States not only represents Stu's first contest of the season but the beginning of the eight-week race to step up his game for the USAs.

As I Suspect: A Girly Man

To ensure that I'll be physically able to train alongside a guy like Stu, I acquire the counsel and supervision of Joseph Dowdell, CSCS. Joe's gym, Peak Performance, is located in a sunny loft in the Flat Iron district of Manhattan, complete with a view of the Empire State Building. He and his staff are among the most sought-after personal trainers in the country, and Peak's clientele list reads like a who's who of film, TV and pop stars, Wall Street high-fliers and media moguls. Joe's employment of unorthodox training methods would most likely send shivers down the spines of traditional bodybuilders: training with Russian kettlebells; dragging, pulling and hauling weighted sleds; powerlifting; and training with--gasp--rubber bands!

To what extent are some of these techniques useful to those looking to super-size their musculature? "If you look at a lot of bodybuilders," Joe begins, "they have created muscle size at the expense of functionality, but the two aren't mutually exclusive. If you train with some of our kettlebell techniques, powerlifting, dragging or pulling a weighted sled with a rope, you're not simply training a muscle but a neurological response."

As he does for all of his clients, Joe gives me a body assessment. With calipers, he takes bodyfat measurements at my chin, cheek, pec, triceps, subscapular, mid-axillary, supra-iliac, umbilicus, kneecap and calf. He then takes circumference measurements at the neck, shoulder, chest, arm, forearm, wrist, waist, abdomen, buttocks, thigh and calf. I weigh 149 pounds with a starting bodyfat percentage of 18.3%. These measurements confirm that I am, as I suspect, a girly man.