What do we buy for the baby? - Perspectives on Parenting - Column

Pediatrics for Parents, Sept, 1994 by Michael K. Meyerhoff

As the holiday season approaches, mothers and fathers everywhere are wandering through the toy stores searching for items that will make their infant's first Christmas or Chanukah a memorable occasion. Unfortunately, while their sentiments are admirable, the expression of those sentiments is somewhat misguided. The fact is that no matter what the parents purchase, the baby probably will spend more time playing with the box, paper, and ribbon in which it was wrapped. And no matter how enjoyable the events of the day may be, the child will not remember anything specific for more than a few moments.

Of course, this doesn't mean the baby should be excluded from the gift giving ceremonies. After all, even the family pet ordinarily has something with his name on it under the tree or next to the menorah. And it doesn't mean that toys are totally inappropriate. Some carefully selected playthings may, indeed, provide the infant with many hours of fascination and fun.

However, it definitely is recommended that mothers and fathers avoid going overboard in this regard. Giving gifts is an act of love, and parents naturally have a tremendous urge to shower their little one with as many items as they can afford. But they should realize that beyond a certain point, spending time and money on toy shopping is likely to be wasteful, and those precious resources could be invested in a far wiser fashion.

The following suggestions, collected through a consensus of experienced parents all across the country, represent some classic innovative alternatives to toys that will help transform the process of giving gifts to your infant from a potentially unproductive exercise in excess into a truly meaningful experience with longterm divideds for everyone involved.

Money. Giving your spouse some cash and saying, "Go buy yourself something nice," no doubt will land you in the doghouse for quite a while. Your infant, on the other hand, will never feel or retain resentment of any sort. And while instructing your baby to go shopping for herself is obviously ridiculous, setting aside the money that otherwise would have been spent on additional toys makes a lot of sense. The future will contain numerous occasions when your child will be able to put that money to excellent use. And every dollar invested now in a college fund, for instance, can grow into several dollars that may be desperately needed in a couple of decades.

Clothes. Remember how disappointed you were when you ripped open a gift box only to find socks and underwear inside? While older children usually are put off by such practical presents, your infant will not be at all chagrined to receive a warm sweater or a wide-brim hat. In fact, she probably will be thrilled to be the center of attention as everyone gathers around to take snapshots of her in the adorable new duds. It is true that your baby will grow out of whatever you get her within a few months. But in the meantime, unlike superfluous playthings, practical clothing won't just stay in the closet gathering dust.

By the way, clothing makes a superb recommendation for friends and relatives seeking gift giving advice. Selecting toys often is a frustrating, hit-or-miss affair and contributing cash can seem crass. But picking out shirts, pants, and pajamas emblazoned with the logo of the local sports franchise or decorated with popular cartoon characters can be a blast. And people are always pleased to receive a post-holiday thank you note containing a picture of the baby "in that cute little outfit we bought her."

Collectibles. Your infant will not be interested in starting a stamp or coin collection. However, when she is older, she may find this kind of hobby enthralling. And if she is like most other children, she will have something of an obsession with anything produced during the year of her birth. So, for example, putting together a freshly-minted penny, nickel, dime, and quarter may not seem particularly special at the moment, but it might have tremendous appeal for your child later on. If you maintain the collection for her during infancy and toddlerhood, and then maintain it with her during the preschool period, there is a good chance you will be initiating an activity she willl come to cherish and continue to maintain herself throughout the remainder of her lifetime.

Scrapbooks. In a similar vein, there may come a day when your child will be intensely interested in putting together albums containing photographs, announcements, newspaper clippings, and other items representing her personal accomplishments and interpersonal relationships. And again, the years before her own consciousness kicked in will be especially intriguing. It would be a shame if she rummaged through attic and basement closets, drawers, and boxes only to find that significant items had been lost or severely damaged. Therefore, instead of spending extra hours at the mall, you could do your child an extremely valuable service by staying home and ensuring that all articles of relevance to her early life are stored in a secure and orderly manner. Once more, this is something wonderful you can do for her and then with her until such time she is able to assume full control herself.