Finding a voice

Vegetarian Times, August, 1998 by Donna Sapolin

While researching her article about Kenny and Julia Loggins (page 62), our health editor, Suzanne Gerber, handed me Kenny's CD of soul-stirring children's songs (Return to Pooh Corner [Sony]). My 8-year-old son immediately fell in love with them, and for the past several weeks, I've been singing selections to him at bedtime. My singing eases him into sleep and soothes both of us deeply.

Yet, it wasn't so long ago that I noticed I had lost touch with this beautiful and powerful way of opening the heart--for me recreational singing had gone the way of relaxation time, reading for fun and baking. The overwhelming demands of this job, motherhood and a busy household had gradually tuned my once-lilting voice to a shrill bark. My decibel level was a reflection of my stress level, and though my voice issued directives, cheers, diatribes, warnings and even sighs with conviction, what it seemed most suited to lately was howling at the moon.

In the increasingly discordant universe I found myself occupying, I determined that I could either go on "howling" or make an effort to dispel some of the cacophony. I decided to start singing--something I had always enjoyed. I started a choral group with a friend who shared my time limitations and one modest ambition: shattering a few of life's barriers instead of glass goblets. We quickly found more people who wanted to join us and began using sound to shape a shelter from the "assaults" of home and job.

Our group's sometimes mellifluous, sometimes raucous notes managed to cut a swath through the clutter of our lives--work deadlines, social engagements, carpools, homework, seas of expectations and requests--and filled us with pure pleasure.

While group members vocalized in different keys, with a few deep breaths and a common goal of harmony, we created unity out of diversity and at each practice session, sent out many clear and positive messages to one another. In the process, I learned valuable lessons that I can apply to my personal life: how to let someone else shine while providing backup support and how to comfortably take a lead role and belt out what I'm feeling for all I'm worth.

I used to wonder where our sounds go after they are heard. Now I know--they reverberate through the universe and put a skip back in our step. Getting acquainted with an inner rhythm and the concept of harmony brings you closer to the experience of balance. Singing is one of the ways in which I set all the conflicting demands aside and incorporate a few new beats into my life. I hope you'll use this issue's articles, which deal with cooking, healing and loving, to tune into some of life's lesser-known cadences and discover ways to express the voice that resonates with your highest purpose.