Perspectives on the effects of stuttering on the formation and maintenance of intimate relationships

Journal of Rehabilitation, July-Sept, 1998 by Gerard W. Linn, Anthony J. Caruso

Formation of Intimate Relationships

Courtship. The first step in the formation of an intimate relationship is exposure to and acquaintance with potential significant others. Boberg and Boberg (1990) in discussing relationships of persons who stutter noted that "two thirds of the courtships were conducted by means of dates as couples, rather than in a larger social group" (p.64). Through avoiding group social activities, an individual who stutters limits not only social experiences and activities, but also his/her chances for finding compatible partners for an intimate relationship. Boberg and Boberg's qualitative study of wives of husbands who stutter report that slightly over half of the spouses interviewed stated they noticed no stuttering the first time they met. The absence of disfluency from the individual who stutters on the first meeting was likely due to the couple meeting alone, the person who stutters hiding his disability, or because the individual was in a fluent period due to speech fluency therapy (Boberg and Boberg, 1990).

Collins and Blood (1990) document the efficacy of acknowledging being a person who stutters. These authors investigated fluent females' perceptions of four males who stutter (two who were severe, and two that were mild). One individual in each group (mild and severe) of men who stutter disclosed that he is person who stutters. Collins and Blood reported that individuals who disclose their stuttering, regardless of severity level, can limit negative spread in nonstuttering females' perceptions of their "intelligence, personality, and appearance" (1990, p.76). The use of asset values may encourage an individual who stutters to disclose to his/her companion or companions that s/he stutters, during the formation stage of an intimate relationship, thereby controlling to some degree the potential "negative spread."

Perception of Partner. Another position from which to view the effects of stuttering on the formation and courtship stage of an intimate relationship is from the perspective of the partner. Boberg and Boberg (1990) asked wives of husbands who stutter questions regarding their relationship during the formation stage. Providing insight into perceptions of the nonstuttering female partner, they stated, "Most of the wives said the prospect of such a curtailed social life did not bother them" (Boberg and Boberg, 1990 p.64). Many of the women interviewed in the Boberg and Boberg study expected to have a limited social life, due to loving and/or living with a man who stutters.

Carlisle (1985) notes that the spouses of people who stutter decide to marry a person who stutters even though they realize that their spouse's disability limits social participation and may decrease vocational opportunities that will affect his/her own life. Both Carlisle's and Boberg and Boberg's analyses suggest that the partner of the person who stutters contemplates the effect of his/her partner's disability on his/her own life. The partner's contemplation on the impact of stuttering on his/her own life does not inherently fall into analysis of whether s/he is using comparative or asset values. The Boberg and Boberg (1990) study suggests that in the English speaking, North American cultures, the impact of stuttering is significant enough to encourage the nonstuttering spouse to assist and compensate his/her partner who stutters in some verbal situations, even when the person who stutters and his/her partner elect to use asset values and thus operate within a coping framework. Rehabilitation professionals should be aware that observing the fluent spouse's assistance in some situations is appropriate, such as facilitating social introductions for the couple.