What? Me Worry? - worry and stress management

Vibrant Life, July, 2000 by Kathy Simmons

At precisely 6:00 a.m. the alarm clock rudely buzzes. Lori groans involuntarily as she fumbles for the switch to turn it off, then rolls on her back and forces her still-groggy mind to contemplate the day. Rain is softly pelting her window. Its gentle sound sparks a fast and furious flow of thoughts....

Oh, no ... the last time it rained, there were traffic tie-ups all over the interstates. I won't make it to work on time! Last week Madeline gave me the most hateful look for arriving a few minutes late ... just my luck to have a boss who doesn't like me! If there was ever a layoff at work, my name would be at the top of the list. And then how would I pay the mortgage? What would I tell the children? How would I feed them?

It's now 6:03, and Lori is off to a great start with her worry habit. She began a brand-new day by successfully leaping from arriving to work a few minutes late to being downsized and applying for food stamps. No wonder she has headaches and is frequently irritable and exhausted!

After that strenuous mental workout--complete with fear, anxiety, and self-doubt--who wouldn't be? Sound ridiculous? Of course it is. Sound familiar? Probably.

Worry is a familiar demon to most of us. It has even been referred to as today's number one mental health disorder. Yet amazingly we seem to know little about worry. Perhaps with higher awareness we'd make better choices on how to approach this destructive habit positively.

Worry Is Physically Harmful

According to Dr. Charles Mayo, who helped found the Mayo Clinic, "Worry affects the circulation, heart, glands, the whole nervous system, and profoundly affects the health. I've never known anyone who died of overwork, but I know many who died of worry. You can worry yourself to death, but you'll never worry yourself into a long life."

It takes precious energy to maintain a high anxiety level. This effort makes a chronic worrier significantly more vulnerable to physical and emotional consequences. Human beings were designed to have a "fight or flight" reaction to potentially harmful situations. Our ancestors often found themselves in highly stressful predicaments, such as the prospect of wild animals attacking them. In their case, worry often saved lives. The difference is their stress forced them to make quick decisions. Our reaction to stress was never meant to be a continuous state of mind.

Worry Is a Habit

We can easily get into the habit of hosting negative thoughts that allow our minds to wander without discipline or constructive direction. This is exactly what Lori permits herself to do every morning. It's unlikely you would appreciate a friend concocting all the depressing scenarios that might result from being late to work. In fact, she probably would avoid a person who constantly told the worst things that could happen in her life. But why does she accept doing this to herself?

Keeping worry under control is an uphill battle for some more than others. For example, the worry habit is often more difficult to break for perfectionists with high expectations of themselves and others. Since worry indicates a feeling of powerlessness, worriers often have issues with control and rigidity that make it difficult to accept change. Type A individuals (those who are high achievers) are particularly susceptible to worry. So are people who witnessed the worry habit in action with their parents. Worry is often a learned behavior taught by role models who never gained control over anxiety.

Betty, a 67-year-old office manager and grandmother of five, struggled with worry years ago. Her worry habit became virtually unbearable when she experienced problems with a grandson who lived with her.

"I came to a point in my life where I realized I simply could not control the direction he took or the choices he made," Betty said. "Unfortunately, the time it took to come to this realization took a significant toll on my emotional, physical, and mental welfare. It was during this crisis that I committed to redirecting my thoughts whenever they veered toward the negative. This restraint did not come immediately, but rather required ongoing discipline and resolve. I learned to accept the fact I could not influence every outcome. Furthermore, I was not responsible for the choices made by another person. My state of mind now is one of peace and vitality. I'm amazed at what a thief worry is, and my only regret is that I failed to master it sooner."

Worry Is Ungodly

We are reluctant to view worry as a sin. Rather, we often minimize how distasteful it is, and even find humor in it. "Oh, you know, she's just a worrier," we say with a wink. How often have you heard other sins taken so lightly? "Don't mind her; she's just a thief." Not often! God's view of worry is clear. We should fear not what can destroy our body but rather what can destroy our soul (Matthew 10:28).

Excessive worry actually displays a lack of faith in our heavenly Father. God has made it abundantly clear He will watch over our needs. The Bible compares His concern to a loving father who would not dream of giving his child a stone when he is hungry (Matthew 7:9). God wants us to experience peaceful, joyful lives, not an existence full of turmoil and anxiety.