Public speaking maxim no. 101: the corpse is more comfortable than the eulogizer at a funeral - Essay - advice on being interviewed for a job

Physician Executive, Sept-Oct, 2002 by Brian A. Meltzer

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

Woody Allen

LET ME TELL YOU about an experience I just had during a job interview.

I was invited to interview for the director of health services position for a large West Coast university. As leaders of an excellent institution of higher education, the interviewers did their very best to put me through the interview wringer.

Hour, after hour, after hour of interviews allowed every individual who has ever set foot in the university health center to take a shot at me. The first interview took the cake, though. Guess what? Improvisation saved the day.

Interview number one was with the "classified staff." Having no prior explanation of what the classified staff was, I imagined them to be the screening gauntlets for aberrant behavior charged with the responsibility of giving me a rapid thumb up or down.

Thumbs up: I continue my interview day. Thumbs down: Here's cab fare to the airport.

My imagination sometimes runs wild. To my relief, this group simply represented the unionized employees of the health center--all 54 of them--at once.

The head classified person (classified as person No. 1, I guess) reminded me that I had been e-mailed a set of questions about my skills, my career ambitions and myself. I was to utilize this question set to prepare a 45-minute presentation about me.

Funny. I didn't remember printing that document until they reminded me of it. I opened the carefully researched interview folder that I had prepared before leaving New York, and there it was.

"Okay. Go."

What do you do? Do you ask for a moment to jot down some thoughts? Do you freeze up entirely? Do you begin sweating profusely?

Here's what I did: I quickly realized that I was being given the most generous opportunity imaginable. I was being asked to spend 45 minutes talking about my absolute favorite subject: Me. Why should I be nervous?

I chose the additional option of sweating profusely, as well. More on that in a bit.

It was a very liberating moment and I felt my mind relax. The second thought came from the self-cheerleader section of my brain. If I could not come up with a decent presentation about myself, then I have no business ever getting up in front of an audience to present as an expert on anything. My self-cheerleader apparently believes in being cruel to be kind.

The third thought that came to me probed the possibilities had I actually prepared for this. Remember the flash of thought that I spoke of in the last article? (The Physician Executive, July/August, 2002, pp. 48-50) I had one. I used it. And that led to my opening comment.

Here's how it works, all in the span of less than one second. I thought about what I would have done if I had actually prepared for this presentation. Mental flashes: PowerPoint, baby pictures and a complete hatred of preparing for anything.

So I opened with, "This is good. If I had actually spent time preparing this presentation, it would have taken forever to scan all of my baby pictures into my PowerPoint presentation." [Insert hearty welcoming laugh here]

I was on my way. Once I heard that laugh, my brain immediately set out to systematically answer the questions that were now set out in front of me. I saw a room full of smiling faces. It became fun.

"I believe that if ever I had to practice cannibalism, I might manage if there were enough tarragon around."

James Beard

Why did those things pop into my mind? I have an idea why. I also don't have any idea why. It's what I refer to as the Rolodex in my brain. This internal card file gives me all of the tools that I need to adapt to unpredictable situations.

Each one of us has access to this type of reference system. Each of our brains is wired in different ways. We think about things differently. We associate objects differently. Our differing associative abilities allow us to differentiate ourselves.

Some of us recognize that we have these associative thoughts. Many do not. Improvisational actors and people who have so-called "quick brains" use these thoughts to their personal advantage all the time.

For example, when I think of a concept like linoleum tile, I immediately recognize that thoughts about kitchens and hospitals and Home Depot and hammocks creep into my consciousness. The kitchen and hospital associations are somewhat obvious. Home Depot? Took a little logic jump to get there, but it definitely came to mind. Hammocks? Well I guess they sell them at Home Depot. I'm not sure. I live in the city.

Each of those rapid associations comes from the Rolodex card in my brain that has "linoleum tile" written on top of it. Teach yourself to pay attention to the cards that make themselves known in your brain and you'll discover a whole world of ways to morph your thinking in unique, clever ways.

You are not responsible for the thoughts that are conjured up in your brain. My immediate thoughts about linoleum tile are as valid as any thoughts that came to you.

We have learned to censor our thinking on a minute-by-minute basis. Internal censorship is so much a part of our everyday lives that we do not even realize that we do it. Censorship stifles creativity. Censorship extinguishes the flash.