Summer wedding special

Shape, June, 2004

out-of-the-box gift registries

With the average age of marriage on the upswing (it's 25 for women and 27 for men these days), many couples already have the standard coffee makers and waffle irons by the time they decide to wed. If a Crock-Pot isn't on your must-have list, here are some registries that cater to the nontraditional:

For adventurers If you're outdoorsy, head to REI's registry (rei.com), from which Shape reader Vicki Mulvaney, 33, and her new husband received loads of camping gear when they married last May. Or get help footing the bill for an exotic honeymoon--several sites, such as thebigday.com and thehoneymoon.com, allow friends and family to purchase snippets of the trip.

For altruists When Kara Schocken, 31, got engaged, she wanted to give something back. "We already had a lot of the stuff we needed, so I felt better asking people to donate to their favorite charities in lieu of gifts for my shower," she says. In fact, so many couples want to celebrate their love with heartfelt donations that an entire Web site--justgive.com--has been established for good causes.

For techies Thirty-four-year-old Shape reader Meaghan Dixon Clawsie's favorite wedding gift was a TiVo from her brothers. "They all chipped in and even bought us a lifetime pass," she says. If DVDs and plasma-screen TVs are more your style, register at amazon.com or felicite.com, where you can choose from more than 80 stores. More of a do-it-yourselfer? Sign up for circular saws, cordless drills and other handy items at homedepot.com.--Allison Winn Scotch

traditions with a twist Here are five interesting wedding customs from around the world: Chile Couples trade wedding bands when they get engaged--but wear them on the right hand. Cyprus Reception guests pin money to the bride's and groom's clothing. Holland Friends and family decorate the door of the bride's house with green fabric or paint for good luck. Japan The bride, groom and a member of each of their families take nine sips of sake as part of a unification ritual. Vietnam Couples celebrate their marriage twice: One party is given by the groom's family, another by the bride's.--Alyson Borgerding

how to stay (happily) married

When it comes to wedded bliss, walking down the aisle is the easy part. Staying married is what's difficult, says John W. Jacobs, M.D., author of All You Need Is Love and Other Lies About Marriage (HarperCollins, 2004). Start off your marriage on the right foot by following Jacobs' advice:

* Recognize your vulnerabilities. Don't assume your love will conquer all. Couples often split because of competing career pressures and shifting gender roles--even if those issues seemed nonexistent on the wedding day.

* Say thank you every day. Most people who divorce feel unappreciated in the relationship. On a daily basis, say thank you--or something that makes clear you appreciate your partner.

* Put your marriage first. Your job and your children are important, but both will benefit more if you are in a loving, stable marriage. Remember that when you work late nights several weeks in a row or have a fight about cleaning the bathroom.--A.B.