Taming your mood swings: one minute I'm content; the next, I'm very upset. How can I control these extreme emotional shifts?… and more of your questions answered here

Shape, July, 2004 by Annie Murphy Paul

Q Sometimes I'll be looking at my husband, thinking how great he is, then he'll do something to annoy me, and I'll feel like I hate him. It's the same with my job, my friends, my looks. How can I get on a more even keel?

A "We all experience mood swings from time to time," says Nassir Ghaemi, M.D., an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School in Boston and director of the Bipolar Disorder Research Program at Cambridge Health Alliance. "If they are relatively brief and infrequent, they're nothing to worry about." If, however, you find yourself at the mercy of powerful and frequently occurring bad moods, take note of when your moods seem to affect you most: If it's in the days before your period, you may be suffering from premenstrual syndrome (PMS). "Oral contraceptives or low-dose anti-depressants can relieve some severe cases of PMS," Ghaemi notes.

If your mood swings occur at times unrelated to your cycle, stress or unhappiness may be at the root of your changing mental state. Consider talking to a psychotherapist about how you're feeling, especially if you've recently experienced changes in appetite, sleep or energy level. A mental-health professional can determine if you are suffering from an illness like depression or bipolar disorder, which can improve with appropriate medication; if not, she can teach you how to manage your moods. You can also read up on moods and their physiology: Try Mind, Stress, and Emotions: The New Science of Mood by Gene Wallenstein, Ph.D. (Commonwealth Press, 2002) or The Origin of Everyday Moods: Managing Energy, Tension, and Stress by Robert E. Thayer, Ph.D. (Oxford University Press, 1997).

Q I have struggled with anorexia for the last five years or so, but I'm now in recovery and eating normally. Though my behavior has changed, what goes on in my head has not. I still have really negative attitudes about myself and my body. What should I do?

A "It's important to honor your accomplishment in recovering from anorexia," says Sharlene Hesse-Biber, Ph.D., a professor of sociology at Boston College, an expert on women's body image and eating disorders and the author of Am I Thin Enough Yet? (Oxford University Press, 1997). These are very stubborn disorders, and you should be proud of yourself for overcoming one aspect of anorexia: your eating behavior.

However, anorexia is not only about what you do but also about how you think and feel, and these psychological aspects can be the hardest to change. "It is important that you work with a therapist, one who has been trained to treat body-image disturbances and self-esteem problems," explains Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a Cincinnati-based psychologist who specializes in weight and body-image issues. If you don't already have a therapist, you can find one by contacting the National Eating Disorders Association at (800) 931-2237 or visiting the Web site of the Eating Disorder Referral and Information Center, edreferral.com. Eating disorders are sometimes accompanied by obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a psychological condition involving recurrent, unwanted thoughts and/or repetitive behaviors. So it may also be helpful for you to be assessed for OCD.

Send your questions to Shape, MindBody Q & A, 21100 Erwin St., Woodland Hills, CA 91367; fax to (818) 704-7620; e-mail to MindBodyQ&A@Shape.com.

Annie Murphy Paul is a health and psychology writer in New York City.