Seven simple ways to be happier; sing out loud. Laugh really hard. Speak up. Just acting extroverted makes you feel better, fast

Shape, Jan, 2004 by Alice Lesch Kelly

You walk into a party and scan the room for a familiar face. You realize, as you shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other, that you don't know a soul. Even the hostess (who invited you) is nowhere to be seen--probably off in the kitchen, pouring drinks or heating up finger foods.

What would make this situation more enjoyable: walking up to a complete stranger, introducing yourself and starting a conversation, or pretending to examine your friend's collection of trashy bestsellers until she's available to talk to you? You might think that blending into the scenery would make you feel better, but researchers at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C., say that pushing yourself to mingle will make you happier than taking the hide-in-the-corner approach.

In studies published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, William Fleeson, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Wake Forest, found that acting extroverted makes people happier (even those who are introverted at heart). In his research, Fleeson asked undergraduates to track their moods for two weeks. They reported feeling happier when they acted outgoing, and less so when they were reserved and timid. What's more, subjects who were told to act assertive in a group discussion reported feeling happier than when instructed to behave in a passive or shy manner.

"Every single participant in the studies was happier when he or she acted extroverted than when he or she acted introverted," Fleeson says.

Wallflower power

Research has shown that, in general, extroverts are happier than introverts. Extroverts tend to be more optimistic, positive, energetic and confident when compared with introverts, who are likely to be more passive, reserved, compliant, unassertive and unadventurous. (Which is not to say that being introverted dooms you to a life of unhappiness; being happy is not that cut and dried.)

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Knowing that extroverts tend to be happier led Fleeson to ask a question, the one that formed the basis of his research: Could introverted people become happier by modeling the behavior of extroverts? "I wanted to show that you can do something about your happiness level by changing your behavior," he explains. And he did.

Happy choices

Fleeson's findings fly in the face of what many psychology researchers believe, which is that people have a happiness set point; that is, happiness levels, which are genetically influenced, tend to stay relatively stable over a lifetime despite outside influences. (See "How Do You Measure 'Happiness'?" opposite.) But Fleeson believes that happiness levels can be raised and that by changing the way we behave--in his view, by acting more extroverted--we can actually make ourselves happier overall. His hope is that his research will help people recognize that their happiness depends not entirely on genetics, but on their own choices. "We have more control over these matters than we realize," Fleeson says. "We have the power to make our lives better."

If you're an introvert, Fleeson acknowledges that it can be tough to push yourself out of your shell. He advises taking baby steps. When you succeed (i.e., have a positive interaction), pay attention to how good it makes you feel, and remind yourself of your success the next time you're in a situation that requires you to be outgoing. Over time, acting extroverted will come more naturally. Here are seven ways Fleeson suggests adding extroversion to your life to increase your happiness.

1. Belt out a tune. No, you don't have to croon "Respect" at a karaoke bar. You can act extroverted even when you're alone. "Being social is not the primary feature of extroversion--activity is," Fleeson says. "Being extroverted means being assertive, bold, energetic and active." So go ahead--crank up the radio and teach Aretha Franklin how to hold a high note.

2. Disagree. Tell other people your opinion (nicely), and let them know when you don't agree with theirs. Opening up and expressing your views can give you a feeling of liberation and confidence.

3. Ask a stranger for his or her life story. When you're in a situation where you don't know anyone, pick out an intriguing stranger and ask questions. You may learn some interesting things, and you might make a new friend or business contact.

4. Laugh! Next time your friend tells you a funny story, don't just smile--giggle, snicker, hoot, chortle, guffaw. Loudly. Some studies suggest that laughing helps to reduce the damaging effects of stress hormones in the body. When you laugh, you elevate your mood--and just feel better in general.

5. Speak up. Ask questions in meetings or class, share your opinions during your book club, or start a conversation with a co-worker about the plot of the movie or new TV show you saw over the weekend.

6. Climb a mountain ... compete in a 5k ... walk a mile ... or go for a long bike ride. Even if you go it alone, taking on a challenging physical feat is a bold, assertive move that will boost your happiness and send feel-good brain chemicals pouring into your bloodstream.