Introducing Imani: "My goals are to shed 35 pounds, develop an exercise plan that works with my schedule and come up with a balanced diet. Is that so much to ask?"

Shape, Jan, 2005 by Imani A. Dawson

Here's a typical scene from my life: After 10-plus hours of fact-checking esoteric bits of information about the hip-hop universe or a night scrambling to meet a tight writing deadline (or both), I bring home some takeout and flop on the couch. Next, I click the tube to BET, where I'm greeted by a succession of scantily clad runway models sashaying across the screen in Jay-Z's "Change Clothes" video.

Filled with begrudging admiration (and deep-seated envy) for the models' slim, cellulite-free bodies, I devour an order of greasy fish and chips and wash it down with a tall glass of grapefruit punch. Then, I polish off a bag of Doritos and call up my overweight best friend to talk trash about the girls in the video. I vow that this will be my last "enjoyable" meal until I can approximate (to the extent that it is possible on my 5-foot-4-inch, largish frame) their lithe looks, knowing full well that in a few weeks I'll be repeating this guilty pleasure all over again.

There have been countless moments like this since I embarked on my dieting odyssey at age 12, after walking through the red doors of my elite all-girls school in Manhattan and realizing for the first time that I was fat in comparison to the other students and not merely "healthy," as my grandmother always insisted. In between complying with her wishes for me to clean my plate for the children starving in Africa (maybe we should have just shipped them our Sunday dinners), I've endured everything from bad breath caused by eating too many bunless burgers on the Atkins diet to the gas eruptions brought on by slurping purple cabbage soup for days on end.

Growing up chubby with three sylphlike younger sisters, I was always in search of a quick fix to my weight problem. In high school, I took prescription diet pills and, combined with jogging, managed to lose 54 pounds--only to gain back 36 of them in my own version of the Freshman 15.

But with my 30th birthday looming ahead of me, I'm finally ready to admit that fad diets aren't working. My weight has settled at 179 pounds, and I'm not happy at this size. Despite being surrounded by friends facing similar weight issues and the fact that I can still squeeze myself into a size 12 and garner admiring glances, I don't always feel sexy or confident, particularly when my eating spirals out of control or a stress-induced binge leaves me longing for a siesta in the middle of a workday. And let's not forget genetics: Several of my relatives weigh 250 pounds or more, and my family is plagued by middle-aged obesity, diabetes and heart problems.

In light of all that, I am thrilled to be sharing my journey with you in this column. Over the next 12 months, I plan to shed for good the extra 35 pounds I've been carrying around, develop an exercise plan I can stick with that works with my nonstop schedule and come up with a balanced diet that won't leave me lusting after cheese fries. Is that so much to ask? Whatever the outcome of my quest, I'm willing to find out the answer.

RELATED ARTICLE

month 1 Height: 5'4"

Weight: 179 lbs.

Body fat: 32%

V[O.sub.2] max*: 33.7 ml/kg/min

Aerobic fitness: average

Resting blood pressure: 114/80 (normal)

Cholesterol: 145 (normal)

* V[O.sub.2] max is maximal oxygen consumption determined by the volume of blood pumped by the heart in one minute, the oxygen-carrying capacity of the blood, the amount of exercising skeletal muscle and the ability of the muscle to use supplied oxygen. The average 30-year-old female with no endurance-training experience may have a value of 33-35 ml/kg/min. Elite female endurance athletes typically have V[O.sub.2] max in excess of 70 ml/kg/min. With consistent endurance training, maximum oxygen consumption can be improved. For more information, go to nismat.org and click on Exercise Physiology.