Valentine's day gift guide: what to buy for your guy

Shape, Feb, 2005 by Maryann Hammers

Getting a Valentine's Day gift for your beau can be tricky--after all, you don't want to come across as stingy or overly extravagant.

"The right gift takes strategy and depends on your job situation, income level and relationship status," says psychologist Larina Kase, Psy.D., who specializes in relationships at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. "If you are a graduate student living on loans, then even $30 after one or two dates seems like overkill and may make him run for the hills."

Not sure what to give him? Our guide to guys' gifts will help:

RELATIONSHIP     TIME FRAME     YOU SHOULD     GOOD GIFTS
MILESTONE                       SPEND

The two of       A few casual   $25-$50 or     Keep it simple, light
you are having   dates          less           and focused on his
fun, but you                                   interests: CD or
haven't                                        DVD, movie or
stopped                                        restaurant
looking                                        certificate,
around (and                                    magazine
likely, neither                                subscription, his
has he).                                       favorite food or
                                               treat.
Things are       A few months   $50-$75        Tickets to a
going well--     of dating                     concert or sporting
but it's still   regularly                     event, dinner at a
new.                                           great restaurant
You've           Three to six   $100-$150      Bid on a retro
had the          months                        football jersey on
"exclusive"                                    eBay; take him sky
talk.                                          diving or white-
                                               water rafting; find
                                               a limited-edition
                                               book by his
                                               favorite author.
You've both      More than six  It's OK to be  Buy that artwork
uttered the      months of      extravagant    he's admired; get
L word.          seeing each    --within       him an iPod or
                 other          your           other great gadget;
                 seriously      budget.        plan a weekend
                                               getaway at a
                                               romantic bed-and-
                                               breakfast or island
                                               resort.

RELATIONSHIP     DON'T GIVE            COMMENTS
MILESTONE

The two of       Anything              "Swiping your
you are having   expensive,            credit card too
fun, but you     sentimental,          soon is like telling
haven't          intimate or           him what type of
stopped          romantic              diamonds you
looking                                like," Kase says.
around (and                            In other words, it's
likely, neither                        inappropriate.
has he).
Things are       Tickets for two for   "Now that the
going well--     an event several      relationship is
but it's still   months from now--     somewhat
new.             that implies a        established, get
                 future together.      him something
                                       more meaningful,"
                                       Kase says.
You've           A fine watch or       "Let him know
had the          family heirloom       you're in sync with
"exclusive"      could scare him off.  him. It's a nice
talk.            "Those gifts say      touch if you
                 'forever,'" explains  accompany your
                 Robyn Freedman        gift with a note
                 Spizman, author of    that shows you
                 The Giftionary (St.   appreciate him,"
                 Martin's Griffin,     Spizman says.
                 2003).
You've both      Expensive clothing    "Ask yourself, 'What
uttered the      or home decor         has he always
L word.          that reflects your    wanted?' "says Liz
                 tastes. And no        Kelly, author of
                 pressure for a        Smart Man Hunting
                 proposal! Let him     (Writers Club Press,
                 pop the question in   2003). "Then trust
                 his own time.         your gut."