Are you a Control Freak? Do you tend to take charge, take orders or take cover? This quiz will help determine just how badly you want to call the shots

Shape, Feb, 2005 by Leslie Gilbert Elman

1 Something's gone wrong at the office and your department head is fuming. You

a. find out who messed up and tell her off for making you all look bad.

b. arrange a group lunch so you can discuss the problem and how to solve it.

c. figure it was an innocent mistake that won't happen again.

Instant insight According to the authors of Mind/Body Health: The Effects of Attitudes, Emotions and Relationships (Benjamin Cummings, 2002), "Type A" controlling personalities habitually look for someone to blame when things go wrong. Fact is, it often doesn't matter who made a mistake. What's really important is taking action to correct the damage.

2 In your book club, you like it best when

a. everyone agrees to read a book you suggested.

b. someone introduces you to a great new book.

c. other members weigh in on what to read next.

Instant insight If the group picks your book, you have a short-term ego boost. But if the club falls apart because you always pick the books, you lose in the long term. Accept input from others. You just might learn something!

3 At your last doctor's appointment, you

a. arrived with your own diagnosis.

b. prayed there was nothing fatal wrong with you.

c. cancelled it and went shopping instead.

Instant insight Hindu ayurvedic principles break personalities into three types: fiery Pitta, airy Vata and watery (read wishy-washy) Kapha. In The Ayurveda Encyclopedia (Ayurveda Holistic Center Press, 1998), Swami Sada Shiva Tirtha describes the Pitta personality as the one that will "try to take over the consultation" with a professional practitioner. Vata personalities tend toward hypochondria, and Kaphas are known as masters of the art of avoidance.

4 It's a four-day weekend, and you're leaving town

a. as soon as possible in your own car.

b. on a road trip with the girls--you don't mind sharing the driving.

c. by bus so you can nap on the way.

Instant insight Do you always have to be in the driver's seat, or can you let someone else take the wheel? You say, "I refuse to be a mere passenger on the bus of life!" And that's fine. But it's also OK to check out the view from the passenger window on occasion and let someone else be in charge of getting there. Changing your perspective refreshes your mind and enhances your objectivity.

5 Your favorite workout is

a. lifting weights.

b. yoga or Pilates.

c. the Nautilus circuit your trainer mapped out for you.

Instant insight Controlling types love to test their physical limits. The trouble comes when they push too hard too often. For instance, overtraining in weight lifting can cause fatigue, injury--even depression. Balance those killer workouts with something a bit milder like Pilates or yoga. Varying your routine will keep you enthusiastic about exercise, so try something new once in a while.

6 You're buying a new car. The color has to be

a. red all the way.

b. silver or white.

c. whatever looks good on the lot.

Instant insight "Red is a demanding, controlling color," writes Dewey Sadka, author of The Dewey Color System (Three Rivers Press, 2004). "[If it's your favorite] you have little tolerance for inefficiencies." On the other hand, Sadka says white signifies objectivity and problem-solving. Silver and white are the most popular colors for U.S. cars, but so what if you lean toward the norm? At least you have a favorite color!

7 Your favorite sport is

a. tennis.

b. league volleyball.

c. pickup softball at a nearby park.

Instant insight John Douillard, author of Body, Mind, and Sport (Three Rivers Press, 2001) says ayurvedic principles determine your sports personality. Fiery Pitta types go for individual sports because they love the challenge of competition (and the ego gratification that comes with winning). Playing team sports--even (gasp!) without keeping score--can balance that cut-throat mentality and remind you that "playing" should be fun.

8 When you're making a point in a meeting, you

a. maintain constant eye contact with just one person.

b. let your gaze move around the room from person to person.

c. become fascinated with the surface of the conference table.

Instant insight A fixed gaze can be interpreted as a sign of hostility; better to engage the whole group with your eyes to focus their attention on you and your message. If you constantly look away, the group will think you don't care about what you're saying--and neither will they.

9 When it comes to snacking and your diet, you

a. haven't eaten a cookie or candy bar since the last millennium.

b. splurge when you're out with friends.

c. have spent much quality time with a pint of Haagen-Dazs and a spoon.

Instant insight Self-discipline is great, but not if it becomes self-punishment. An occasional splurge, within reason, keeps you on track with your nutrition regimen. (Even the Weight Watchers program lets you eat french fries!) Just remember to maintain a modicum of self-control.

10 Your 4-year-old nephew is trying to tie his shoes. He's not having much success, so you

a. tie them for him.

b. wait until he finally gets it right.

c. let him go barefoot.