For the record: "a food diary can be like a daily testimony. Eat a candy bar from the vending machine? Guilty. Have one or two or 144 pistachio nuts? Guilty!"

Shape, Feb, 2005 by Imani A. Dawson

I've been keeping a food diary since my introductory meetings with Food Network nutritionist Suki Hertz, M.S., R.D., and clinical psychologist Jean Petrucelli, Ph.D., co-director of the Eating Disorders, Compulsions and Addictions Service at the William Alanson White Institute in New York City, and I've learned that a written record of everything that goes into my mouth can be like daily testimony in a court case. Eat a candy bar from the vending machine? Guilty. Have one or two or 144 pistachio nuts sitting at my desk? Guilty. Consume three slices of my aunt's prized cheesecake at the family reunion? Guilty. Sentence: life with gelationous thighs.

My predilection for mindless snacking has made remembering to write down everything I eat especially tough. However, thanks to Hertz, I'm now more aware of my portions, measuring fist-sized pieces of protein, dutifully sprinkling 2 teaspoons of granola on my yogurt, eating at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day and washing it all down with eight(ish) glasses of water.

But it's the snacking, even on so-called "healthy foods," in between meals that's my kryptonite. I'm used to huge servings of fat-marbled steak and mounds of cheesy mashed potatoes, so two or three hours after eating a modest-sized broiled chicken breast, steamed vegetables and brown rice, my stomach starts rumbling and I'm hitting the vending machine for two or three bags of "sensible" snacks like nuts and fat-free pretzels.

According to Petrucelli, this unconscious snacking is part of my pattern of impulsive behavior. Initially, I was a little nervous about seeing a psychologist, secretly fearing that she would pronounce me a hopeless case. After our first few meetings, my fear turned to wariness--I was unconvinced that my complete inability to organize my desk, my apartment or my life was even remotely related to my struggles with weight.

Then I had a "eureka" moment while eating reduced-fat chips during an hour-long phone call dishing rap-star dirt with my friend Karen. Though I only intended to consume the 15 chips that roughly make up an ounce, by the end of the conversation, I'd eaten the entire bag--all five servings. Filled with shame, I realized I had continued to munch without thinking about the consequences, a behavior that has manifested in other aspects of my life as well, like when I take on three major work assignments all due on the same day, or fall for someone who tells me upfront that he's not looking for a commitment.

Since acknowledging the truth in Petrucelli's analysis, I'm attempting to get a handle on my impulsive between-meal eating. I buy 1-ounce portions of pistachios, instead of 1-pound bags. If I really want some chips, I pick up a single-size serving, and I steer clear of the vending machine, arming myself by preparing fruits and vegetables as snacks.

This new vigilance has enabled me to develop more awareness about what I consume and why, and to curb my unconscious eating. I've noticed the difference on paper, when I'm recording my food intake, and in my energy level, which seems to be increasing as it adjusts to healthier eating. I've actually even managed to shed a few pounds along with my impulsive behavior!

RELATED ARTICLE

then

month 1 Height: 5'4"

Weight: 179 lbs.

Body fat: 32%

V[O.sub.2] max*: 33.7 ml/kg/min

Aerobic fitness: average

Resting blood pressure: 114/80 (normal)

Cholesterol: 145 (normal)

now

month 2

Weight: 173 lbs.

Pounds lost: 6

Body fat: 30%

Body fat lost: 2%

RELATED ARTICLE: WHAT I LEARNED

1. Keeping a food journal is one of the most effective weight-loss tools because it helps identify negative eating patterns.

2. Purchasing single-serving food helps curb overeating.

3. Personality traits can manifest themselves in all areas of your life, including your eating habits.