5 ways to get what you want from your guy - Your Life

Shape, March, 2003 by Maureen Kennedy

Some days it may feel as though climbing a mountain would be easier than getting your boyfriend or husband to do the dishes. Instead of yelling, whining or pouting, follow these suggestions from California-based personal coaches Kristina Catalina and Kim Sarrasin, who lead workshops on communication between men and women:

1. Talk low and slow. In other words, ask nicely. It's easier for your partner to hear you when he feels like you are talking to him, not at him. He'll also be more inspired to do whatever you're requesting.

2. Start off on a positive note. Forget "you never..." or "why can't you ... " They don't work with men. Instead, preface your request with something you appreciate about him. He'll be more receptive.

3. Provide plenty of details. Don't assume he can read your mind. Being clear about what you want will help him know what to do.

4. Don't forget to thank him. Acknowledging his effort will go a long way toward strengthening your relationship.

5. Trust that he'll do what you requested. If you do have to repeat your request, use the same words you used the first time so it doesn't sound like a whole new demand.