Could you go a month without a scale? - Shape your Life

Shape, April, 2002 by Kathleen Doheny

The scale simply measures how much we weigh, but for too many of us it also influences our self-confidence and our assessment of how healthy we are -- even though we know that fitness and body-fat levels are more accurate (yet still only two) indicators of health. To determine just how much power the scale can have over us, we had four weight conscious women shun it for a month. Their experiences show that we can see ourselves and our bodies less in terms of the reading on the scale and more in terms of how fit we are and the way we look and feel in our clothes.

4 WEEKS without weighing in

Amy Bloom, 29

Weighs herself Every morning, naked, before going to the gym

Weigh-in behavior "I'm an addict. I weigh myself religiously."

How she did "I started working out with a trainer, and he helped me stay strong about not using the scale. I've got these fitted jeans that are a better test of where my body is at than a scale."

Stefanie Elkins, 29

Weighs herself Two to three times a week at the gym, in workout clothes and sneakers

Weigh-in behavior "Every time I weigh myself, I do it twice, as if I need to verify it. Sometimes I hold my breath, like it might save me a pound or two."

How she did "It was an effort not to weigh myself, but I didn't. In the end, I realized it's more about how you feel, not how much you weigh. And every time I left the gym, I felt great because I did something good for my body."

Jamie Kilgore, 42

Weighs herself About three times a week in the morning, naked, before drinking anything

Weigh-in behavior "I've been consumed with weighing myself my whole life. I need to let it go."

How she did "I felt like I was losing control of my weight. I used not being able to weigh myself as an excuse to validate the 4 pounds I gained. I want to get back in control of my weight, but not by using the scale."

Amy Jablin, 27

Weighs herself Once or twice a week at the gym, naked, after exercising

Weigh-in behavior "Every time I'm about to step on the scale, I always feel nervous."

How she did "Skipping the scale wasn't as bad as I thought. I learned to pay more attention to my body. If my clothes fit comfortably, everything was good."

Robin Tolkan

shape events

* Take part in our Shape Your Best Life program, a holistic approach to fitness (mind, body and spirit), at the Pura Vida Yoga and Retreat Center in Costa Rica, May 25-June 1 and July 20-27. On the program: hiking; yoga, NIA movement therapy and African dance, relationship, spirituality and nutrition sessions. Space is limited. Call R & R Resorts (888-767-7375) and ask for the Shape Your Best Life program; visit puravidaspa.com or e-mail reservations@puravidaspa.com.

* Join Shape Editor in Chief Barbara Harris on a climb up Mount Rainier, Wash., Aug. 24-26. There's room for only 20 people on this strenuous challenge, so get in condition for it and reserve early. Preparatory training will be provided. Contact: Rainier Mountaineering Inc. (360-569-2227), e-mail info@rmiguides.com or visit rmiguides.com.

Beating the divorce odds.

If your parents split up, you're more likely to have problems in your own marriage, according to Pennsylvania State University sociologist Paul Amato, Ph.D., who conducted a 17-year study of more than 2,000 parents and 335 of their children. Interestingly, adult children whose parents seemed to get along before divorcing have a harder time with their own romantic relationships than those whose parents were noticeably at odds. Children in an "everything's rosy" household tend to view marriage as unpredictable and shaky, Amato explains, while those in discordant households see divorce as a reasonable solution to an unhappy marriage.

The good news: If your parents broke up, you're not fated to do the same; you just have to work a little harder. It helps, Amato says, to be aware that you tend to give up on relationships more quickly than you should. He suggests getting counseling or simply waiting for things to improve.