An August Christmas missive: and I don't mean like "inspiring," "eminent" or "majestic"

Guns Magazine, Dec, 2008 by John Connor

My wife, the Memsaab Helena, suggested I write about "most memorable Christmas gifts." For me, thinking of one was easy: It was a pair of socks. They were standard issue military boot socks; brand new, clean and dry in a plastic bag. No one had ever worn them before. They may have been the only clean, dry, previously-unworn socks in a 100 square miles or more.

My best buddy had bartered for 'em. then squirreled them away, hoping we would both make it to Christmas Eve. I put them on immediately. Why and the rest of the tale is a story for another time.

But it's August as I write this, for Pete's sake, and between the heat and other midsummer mind-benders, I'm having a little difficulty comin' up with holiday-themed thoughts. Remember, I'm not really a writer, so I can't be expected to conform to "professional standards." I'm thankful for that, by the way ...

The lone Christmasy-cranial-signal I've got is a left-over from writing all the Christmas Gift Guides for GUNS. American Handgunner and American COP--in July I enjoy putting them together, but it always seems there's just not enough room for everything I'd like to pass along. Herewith, some random August-flavored Decembery-Christmas suggestions:

High-Capacity Magazines: This may not sound very Christmasy, but for any of your shooting friends whose firearms accommodate hi-cap mags, a brace of 'em would make a great and perhaps memorable gift. This issue should be out in November, and I doubt the newly-energized rights-trampling Congress will have yet had time to pass a "People's Friendly Democratic Socialist Public Safety & Warm-Fuzzy Tenderness Act" outlawing their production and sale--yet. It may be your last chance to legally make such a gift. This ain't negative thinking; just realistic thinkin'.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Ammunition: Given the skyrocketing cost of virtually any type of ammo, suddenly it's fashionable. And while prices have multiplied, availability of military calibers like 9mm, .45 ACR 5.56mm and 7.62mm/.308 has dwindled. This situation is the result both of rising costs of base materials like lead and copper, and military consumption of small arms rounds and priorities in production.

Safety & Security products have always been big on my personal Christmas lists, and I urge you to think of them as gifts for your own family, for use in your own home, as well as for your friends. I recently had the opportunity to review some I' m comfortable recommending. Go to www.gunvault. com and check their Mini and Mini DeLuxe, Multi and Multi DeLuxe and MultiVault Biometric models. They're strong, secure, quickly accessible, and you may be surprised at the prices. If you can prevent a single accident in your own or a friend's home, or a theft which may leave your Roscoe in criminal hands, what a gift that would be, huh?

I've also been impressed with Titan Gun Vault, a design both mobile and mountable, activated by user-chosen pushbutton code, and features a mechanism which lifts your holstered handgun out into your grasp as you open the door. See it at www.titangunvault.com. For lots of applications, remember the classic Life Jacket clamshell gun locks, which also morph from portable to screwed or bolted in place, at www.msegroupllc. com. There are models for both handguns and long guns, and they're proven tough and fast.

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

On the personal safety side, you probably know which of your shooting friends really have and use appropriate eye and hearing protection and which don't. Just consider this: If o1' Stubborn Steve or Cranky Calvin have been stuffing empty 9mm brass or used cigarette filters in their ears for 17 years, how likely are they to buy some decent range muffs on their own'? There are lots of good ones out there from several manufacturers, Howard Leight and Walker's Game Ear among 'em. You can likely find something suitable you can afford, at www.walkersgameear.com and www. howardleightshootingsports.com.

Eye protection makes for tougher choices, because peoples' ideas of eyewear fashion are so varying and--well, weird. Sometimes I think the only way to deal with this aspect of "safety as a gilt" is to spirit your giftee off to a sporting goods palace with your checkbook clenched in one fist and one of their ears in the other. No; I'm not kiddin'. I've done it, sometimes accompanying the revelation of my sinister plot with, "Listen up: Your eyes are more precious to me than they seem to be to you. You will protect them because I wish it to be so. Got it?" Try it.

Purely Peripheral & Fun

You'll note I included a couple of Birchwood Casey's swinging steel targets in the Christmas Gift Guide. They're lots of fun, and I firmly believe the shooting sports would gain many more adherents and more families would enjoy shooting together if an afternoon of popping caps was more entertaining. I wish I could have covered more, so I'll do it here: You'll find tons of moving, long-lasting, high quality targets at www. actiontarget.com, www.safedirection. com, and www.justshootmeproducts. com.