Surviving the college road trip: a guide for students and parents: when you think of a "college road trip," a long car ride with your parents may not be the first thing that comes to mind. But hitting the road with your folks may be the best way to find a school that's right for you

Careers and Colleges, Sept-Oct, 2004 by Don Rauf

DEAR COLLEGE TOUR DIARY: Now that I'm 17 and a junior, I really didn't think I'd be planning a long car trip with my parents to visit a bunch of different colleges. I have to admit the idea of spending hours on end in a car with Mom and Dad listening to their old James Taylor CDs wasn't very appealing. But this year when my parents planned to take time off from their work, that time was dedicated to visiting colleges I was interested in. After all, I guess the only way I was going to find a school that was right for me was if we all saw them up close and personal. My only fear was: Would my parents and me speak to each other again?

THE TRAVELERS:

THE STUDENT: SARAH KEEFER

AGE: 18

PROFILE: High school senior in search of a college with good nursing program in a city

THE MOTHER: NANCY KONOPKA

AGE: 47

PROFILE: Parent who wants to help her child find the ideal college and one that won't break the bank.

Most students probably don't keep a campus tour diary recording all their feelings about college choices and working through the process with their parents--although it's probably a good idea. The college search requires spending intensive time together with the folks, so the potential is there for some conflict. If parents and students, however, communicate and get organized, they can come together and make touring a rewarding experience.

"I often hear parents say that they're spent more time together with their child in the car on these visits than they had spent together in many years," says Nancy Hargrave Meislahn, dean of admission and financial aid at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut. "For most families there are all sorts of tensions throughout the process, but at the end it's a real bonding moment. I think kids see their parents in a different light and vice versa."

Sarah Keefer, who has just begun her freshman year at the University of Pittsburgh, worked closely with both her parents as she visited seven campuses last year. They started visiting in the summer after her junior year because she had spent the spring studying abroad. Although plenty of students are around in the summer at a huge school like University of Pittsburgh, both Sarah and her mother thought they would have gotten a more realistic view if they had visited schools while they were in session.

"I think it's exciting to go on a campus when there are lots of students around," says Sarah's mother, Nancy Konopka. "It gives high school students a chance to envision themselves a little bit better at that college."

Because Sarah's primary concern was to find a college with a strong nursing program, she was less concerned with seeing students in action. She also wanted to find a comfortable campus located in or near a big city. "I like urban environments and all the different things that a city can offer," says Sarah. "Cities offer a lot of diversity and that would be a big difference from where I live in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania."

Seeing the campuses in person definitely gave Sarah a view of the colleges that went well beyond the catalogs and Web sites. One university in Pittsburgh looked nice in the photographs, but in person it looked "gloomy," lacked green space, and felt crowded.

All in all, Sarah says that visiting with her parents "went pretty smoothly," and that she found out much more when her parents were with her compared to the campus visit she made on her own with one of her friends. Sarah and her parents even survived a grueling 26-hour round-trip drive to St. Louis.

Her mother says that preparation and planning was key. "Students have to be ready to tour," she says. "It helps if they can go on the Internet and read about the colleges and get excited about them. Students need to go through all the college mail. Once in a while, parents and students should sit down together and organize it, making NO piles and MAYBE piles."

To get yourself ready for college touring, follow these steps:

1. WRITE DOWN QUESTIONS. After narrowing down your college choices, write questions you want answered, and make sure those questions aren't already answered online or in the literature. "When parents ask all sorts of questions that they could find the answers to on the Web, the tour can last up to two and a half hours, which is much too long," explains Konopka.

2. SCHEDULE AHEAD. Contact the admission office to schedule a visit--preferably when school is in session. "The mornings are the best, because it increases the chance that you'll be able to sit in on a class, and you'll get more of the flow of the campus," says David Lesesne, dean of admission at Sewanee: University of the South in Tennessee.

Many campuses will conduct group tours, which can be very informative because you get to hear questions from other students and parents. Although it's not recommended, you can just show up on campus and possibly get a student-guided or a self-guided tour. "Sarah and her father did a self-guided tour of West Chester University [in Pennsylvania]," says Nancy Konopka. "Even on the self-guided tour, they were able to see almost everything they wanted."