Quiz: Handling the Home Front - Brief Article - Statistical Data Included

Careers and Colleges, March, 2000 by Vichi Hambleton

Once you leave high school, you're on your own. But you probably still need your parents' support, both financially and emotionally. How do you handle this new relationship? Take this quiz and you'll find out if you and your parents are seeing eye-to-eye and where the problem patches might occur.

Answer the questions in the teen section and then ask your parents to answer the questions in the parent section. Once you're done, sit down with your parents and discuss the issues that might come up. Working the answers out before you go away will make life smoother for everyone.

* FOR TEENS

1. You're home from college and a friend asks you to come over at 11 p.m. You[ldots]

* a. say, "Sure," and head out.

* b. let your parents know that you are going to be quite late getting home.

2. In high school, Dad's wallet was always close by. Alter high school, you expect[ldots]

* a. your parents will be there whenever you need some extra cash.

* b. to make a budget arid only ask your parents for help in an emergency.

3. Your roommate is staying at your parents' house with you for the weekend. She lights up a cigarette. You[ldots]

* a. say nothing and open the window.

* b. tell her your parents don't allow smoking in the house.

4. Home for a visit, you unpack your two suitcases full of dirty clothes and[ldots]

* a. assume someone will take care of it.

* b. ask permission to use the washer.

5. Some old friends want to go to a party Friday and then into the city Saturday. Your family has one car. You[ldots]

* a. assume the car is at your disposal.

* b. check your parents' plans and ask a friend for a ride on one of the days.

6. At the last minute you decide to bring your boyfriend/girlfriend home for a visit. You[ldots]

* a. carry his/her bag to your room.

* b. call and let your parents know you are bringing home a special friend.

* FOR PARENTS

1. Your visiting child informs you he is going to be out very late. You[ldots]

* a. forbid him to stay out past 12 am.

* b. ask him where he is going and what time he plans to be home.

2. Your teen has been away for a month and you can't wait to see her. You[ldots]

* a. hop in the car for a surprise visit.

* b. ask her when you can stop by,

3. Aunt Ellie is having a picnic Saturday, and your mother is cooking Sunday dinner for the family. Your visiting teen has other plans for both occasions. You[ldots]

* a. say, "Too bad, family comes first."

* b. ask your child to please choose one family event to attend.

4. You walk by your visiting teen's room and can't even see the bed because there is such a mess. You[ldots]

* a. scream that the room must be picked up immediately.

* b. ask your teen to please keep the door shut so no one else has to see the mess. Demand that the mess be picked up before the end of the visit.

5. Your son brings home his girlfriend for a visit and promptly heads upstairs with her bag to his room. You[ldots]

* a. chase after him yelling, "What do you think you are doing???"

* b. welcome your son's guest and let her know there are clean sheets on the bed in the spare room.

6. Your teen asks how much allowance she will get while she's in school. You[ldots]

* a. say, "Nothing, earn it yourself."

* b. let your teen know what you are willing to provide and that you will always be there in case of an emergency.

SCORING

If you answered "a" to any of the questions, it's probably time to talk to your family about what kind of rules work for everyone. Here are some points to consider:

CURFEWS

* TEEN Most parents are flexible with curfews for their college kids. Their main concern is your safety[ldots]and their sleep! Tell them where you're going and when you plan to be home.

* PARENT Parents worry. But your child needs to be responsible for him or herself. Consider placing an alarm clock outside your bedroom and setting it 30 minutes later than when your teen expects to be home. He or she can shut it off before going to bed. you'll get a good night's sleep unless the alarm goes off.

MONEY

* TEEN Living on your own means becoming financially responsible. If you're in college or just starting out, your parents may want to provide some financial support. Talk to them about setting a budget, and then stick to it!

* PARENT Let your teen know that you will always be there for an emergency, but that he or she needs to learn to live on a budget.

SMOKING

* TEEN You may not mind if your roommate smokes at school, but if your parents don't allow smoking in their house, you should respect their wishes.

THE MESSY ROOM

* PARENT Compromise by asking your teen to keep the door shut if the room's a mess, and to at least keep a path clear from bed to door for safety reasons. Insist that the room be cleaned up before the child goes away again.

LAUNDRY

* TEEN Ask if it's okay to bring your laundry home, Don't just assume. You might even offer to bring your own detergent. Your parents will be appreciative of the fact that you asked--so appreciative that maybe they'll even do the laundry for you!

THE BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

* TEEN when it comes to significant others, your parents' rules are probably pretty inflexible. Respect their wishes and remember that it's their house and their rules. Let them know ahead of time if you plan to bring someone home. Whatever you do, don't spring it on them as you come in the front door.