Shooting lessons from the movies? - Better Shooting

The atrocious shooting techniques displayed in movies and television don't really bother me. Bad guys watch movies too, and if they learn to hold their pistols sideways, blink at every shot and rack shotgun slides five times for every shot fired, that's fine with me. Once in a while they even manage to get it right. Here are a few examples -- and the lessons provided:

LONESOME DOVE: Ronger captain Woodrow F. Call (Tommy Lee Jones) hands a holstered revolver to the youngster Newt (Rick Schroeder) and says, "It's better to have that and not need it than to need it and not have it"

Lesson: The goad captain nailed it. The thing about any defensive weapon is the fact you'll likely never need it. But if you do, you'll really, really need it. It calls to mind Mark Moritz's immortal contribution to shooting literature. When an acquaintance proclaimed, "There ain't no rules in a gunfight," Moritz replied, "There is one rule -- have a gun."

REVENGE OF PINK PANTHER: Peter Sellers, as Chief Inspector Clouseau, stops at a Paris traffic light and a young woman hitchhiker (actually transvestite Claude Rousseau) jumps into the car. The conversation ensues ...

Clouseau: "You know, generally speaking, it's dangerous for a beautiful girl like you to be hitchhiking at night."

Rousseau: "I know. That's because generally speaking, beautiful girls like me don't carry guns."

Clouseau: "Ah, yes, yes...(ponders for a moment)...are you saying you carry a gun?"

Rousseau: "Mm-hmm ... I've got it in here somewhere (rummaging through purse) ...oh, it's not very big."

Lesson: Some people are more in danger of being assaulted or robbed than others and all the wishing in the world won't change that fact. In many situations, women and the elderly are vulnerable. When there's a great disparity in physical strength, even a not-very-big gun can even the odds. Of course, it shouldn't be buried at the bottom of a purse.

SIX DAYS, SEVEN NIGHTS: Harrison Ford, as pilot Quinn Harris, and passenger Anne Heche, as Robin Monroe, are being pursued by murderous pirates after crash-landing on a tropical island.

Quinn: "I thought that's what women wanted ... men who aren't afraid to cry, who are in touch with their feminine side."

Robin: "Not when we're being chased by pirates. Then we want them mean -- and armed."

Lesson: Nice dialogue, except Quinn isn't armed. Years ago a liberal columnist wrote how badly he wanted a gun when an intruder broke in. No doubt when his car goes off an embankment and rolls he'll decide safety belts aren't a bad idea too. Don't wait until the pirates are on your heels to acquire a gun and the skill to use it. Plan ahead if you elect to choose to make a handgun part of your personal defense plans.

THE GHOST AND THE DARKNESS: Val Kilmer, as John Patterson, exchanges his bolt-action .303 British for what appears to be a Martini-Henry .577/.450. He confronts a man-eating lion at a range of a few yards and the rifle misfires. His hunting partner, Remington (played by Michael Douglas), is several hundred yards away and fires a shot that scares the lion off. When Patterson explains about the misfire, Remington stares at him in disbelief and says incredulously, "You ... you exchanged weapons? You went into battle with an unproven rifle?"

Lesson: It may sound hard to believe that someone would trust their life to a firearm they have never fired, but I suspect it happens quite often. I recollect reading how a police officer unboxed his brand-new S&W M-66 revolver and looked it over admiringly. Then he loaded it with the six cartridges from his old, blue-steel M-19, put the M-19 in his locker, holstered the unfired M-66 and went back to work.

I doubt many police officers would do this today, but surely there are thousands of guns bought for home and self-defense that have never been fired. A minimum of 100 malfunction-free rounds should be fired through any defensive gun (tested with the ammunition to be used for defense). And frankly, I'd be happier with 200.

THE WILD BUNCH: General Mapache is about to fire a belt-fed, water-cooled Browning machine gun being held by several of his men, while a German military adviser (staying near cover) shouts repeatedly, "It must be mounted on a tripodl" Only after his method proves unworkable does the general sourly order his men, "Put it on the tripod".

Lesson: If you're unfamiliar with a particular type of firearm, set your ego aside and get training in how to use it. And if you're the one doing the training, just maybe at times it's not a bad idea to stay near cover. Many police firearm instructors wear body armor as a matter of course.

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Eli Wallach, as Tuco, says: "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."

Lesson: When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

COPYRIGHT 2002 Publishers' Development Corporation
COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group