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Programming Pix & Pans

Cable World, Oct 10, 2005

By Shirley Brady and Seth Arenstein

Often we forget cable is supposed to be entertaining and fun. To rectify this, we've birthed Pix and Pans, a sometimes light-hearted preview of programs from our sometimes light-hearted critics.

Barkitecture

Animal Planet must be kicking itself for not coming up with this one. Dog owners--from brand new to long-besotted--help make an assortment of projects, a couple of which were head-scratchers (Do dog beds need electric warming? Should a doghouse rest on cold flagstone?). Wannabe "barkitects" will need to visit DIY's website to get the specifics on constructing the canine curiosities in this how-to series, while the rest is pure puppy porn for dog lovers. --S.B. Grade: B

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This show will attract the dogs 18-24 demo, although older dogs will continue to favor Frasier reruns. Barkitecture's tips on pet adoption are fine, but does the show really consider the dog's personality when building its doghouse? For Copper, a golden retriever, DIY eschewed gold and constructed a log cabin. We would have gone with the underwater lair of Austin Powers' nemesis Dr. Evil in Goldmember or a replica of The Golden Girls' split ranch. --S.A. Grade: B-

Off to War

Should be mandatory viewing from the president on down. This real-life Over There goes deep and long to reveal what cable and the nightly news don't have time to show: the tedium, frustrations and moral conflicts that beset the U.S. military in Iraq and their loved ones at home. Highlights include the discovery and detonation of a pipe bomb in the midst of a traffic jam, although I fast-forwarded through a trans-Atlantic marital dispute by phone. --S.B. Grade: A-

It's season two of this award-winning series and we're still amazed at the access Brent and Craig Renaud were given to a National Guard unit, at home and in Iraq. This is raw war: fetid, at times complicated and dangerous, at other moments simple and boring. It's also the Guard, the military's dark sheep, badly equipped, spottily trained and skeptical as heck. Still, the mix of U.S. pride and morale is impressive, even though the series proves freedom's not free. --S.A. Grade: B+

Human Trafficking

Worth watching for the scams that enable cross-border sex trafficking, although an issue this important deserves better treatment. The dialogue is wooden, nobody showed Mira Sorvino how to act (or run) like a cop, and Scots baddie Robert Carlyle can't settle on a faux accent. The plots are so implausible--a father infiltrates the ring that lured his daughter, the denouement is laughable--that you wish Lifetime had hired the Renaud brothers to shoot a documentary instead. --S.B. Grade: B-

Lifetime has an outstanding social conscience, even if some of its issue- oriented shows fall flat. In the flat category is Mira Sorvino, who was sleepwalking through most of this film. The soporifics continue with Donald Sutherland, who barely breaks a sweat. Most of their scenes are in part two. Avoid it. Fortunately, part one is an eye-opener, exposing the gruesomeness of sex slavery, a growing global problem that ensnares millions of youths, mostly girls. --S.A. Grades: Part 1: B, Part 2: D

Viva Blackpool

Having visited Blackpool in all its tawdriness and being a huge Dennis Potter fan, I loved this musical drama. The song-and-dance numbers are catchy and creative, blending seamlessly with the pathos and violence, while the acting is a delight. (The brash, insensitive boorishness of David Morrissey's Ripley Holden is a guilty pleasure to behold.) But no doubt this series will prove an acquired taste--like Blackpool's black pudding and mushy peas--that's not for all American palates. --S.B. Grade: A

Since it's BBC America it's got to be a mystery, but Viva's also a comedy...and a musical. Writer Peter Bowker says Cop Rock and the musical eps of Buffy and Ally McBeal influenced him, and it shows. While the Britishisms are lost in translation, the strong acting, writing and witty choreography (the lovemaking scene between Donald Trump-wannabe Ripley Holden and his wife is a hoot) make this series about murder and greed in a seaside resort a campy winner. --S.A. Grade: A-

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Programming Pix & Pans

Cable World, Oct 10, 2005

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