Viewers Aren't the Only Ones Switching Channels

Cable World, Nov 4, 2002

Byline: JON LAFAYETTE

On cable, you can't tell the programs without a scorecard. It's not just that there are so many channels - and God knows there are too many of those to keep track of some days. The real problem arises when shows relocate from cable network to cable network as deals expire and program strategies change. Networks are even sharing shows, leaving more and more viewers looking like Ozzy Osbourne, cursing his remote control.

Some shows that are on the move are also hugely successful. Exhibit A is Law & Order. (But which Law & Order? Criminal Intent? Theft of Service Brigade?) For years, Jerry Orbach's mug was a signature for A&E, but A&E decided to let TNT, paying about $700,000 an episode, have it alone. Some A&E loyalists must be wondering where it went and trying to figure out if there's something on TV other than Third Watch, Law & Order's replacement.

Then there's M*A*S*H. Not so long ago, the classic Korean War parable was one of the few good reasons to watch FX. The show was produced by Fox's 20th Television unit and was used to prop up the cable channel. But next year, for a host of business reasons, Hawkeye and the gang are moving to the wholesome Hallmark Channel.

Or take Saturday Night Live. Please. It's a comedy show, right? Belongs on Comedy Central? And there it sat for years. Until one day, episodes began showing up on E! Next season it will be seen only on E! Comedy Central thinks SNL's ratings have shrunk to the size of Anna Nicole's IQ.

It's gotten to the point where even shows that started on cable are switching channels. As part of its Brilliant But Cancelled Television month, Trio has picked up TV Funhouse, which was produced for Comedy Central. (On cable, dying is easy, but comedy is hard.)

And Monk, a show that has boosted USA Network's reputation, is becoming best known as a key part of the ABC lineup. While it's nice to see a cable show getting its props from a broadcaster, does it do USA any good?

Once upon a time, TV people argued over whether people watched channels or networks. Now many are convinced it's programs that people watch. And it's programs that establish a network's brand. Original programming is the best bet to build a brand, but true signature shows are as hard to find as unindicted Rigases.

So with so many networks with time slots to fill, the networks are treating TV shows like baseball cards. Or, these days, like baseball players. They get shuffled around more and more frequently until it's too hard to remember who's playing for your favorite team. I don't know if networks are supposed to work the same way.

Studios get big bucks when a show appears on two networks. Sci Fi and TNT share the $850,000 cost of X Files episodes, and Court TV and TNT share the $825,000 price tag on NYPD Blue. But is the loss of a clear identity worth the price?

While programs may change, networks are supposed to retain a sense of who they are and what type of programs they air. For some programmers, like Do It Yourself or Golf Channel, it can be pretty easy. But once you slide into what passes for entertainment, it gets tricky. You've got reality shows on MTV, historical dramas on ESPN, talk shows on A&E and sitcoms on Animal Planet. So no matter how fast or slow you turn the dial, any genre can pop up unexpectedly anywhere.

And you just know that some programmers will want to burnish their reputations for being unpredictable by buying shows you'd never expect to see on their networks. I can't wait till I see the reality and drama of The Osbournes on CNN, the unrelenting curiosity of Howard Stern on Discovery and the sensitivity and insights of The Best Damn Sports Show Period on Oxygen.

I've got an idea for a real Swiss Army Knife of a show: an animated show about a well-dressed golf instructor whose young guitar-playing wife thinks he's stalking her because he keeps redecorating her kitchen - he wants to make a turkey to feed visitors from outer space. What channel could turn down that idea? Not a network that programs sports, cooking, music, decor, fashion, science fiction, comedy or drama for men or women. (P.S.: A treatment is available; don't everyone call at once.)

The networks could even agree to pass it around for a few years. Originals on a general entertainment channel, second window on a specialty channel, reruns on a diginet.

And eventually, if the show is any good, it will end up on TV Land.