More than words; Sales success: Use nonverbal cues to help the sale along

Entrepreneur, Jan, 2002 by Barry Farber

YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM a prospect who's leaning back, his arms folded across his chest. "Oh, no," you think. "His arms are folded. He's leaning back. I've lost the sale for sure!" Suddenly, your enthusiasm fades and you become insecure about your next move.

At this point, you really have lost the sale. What you don't know is that the prospect is simply getting comfortable in a brand-new chair and thinking that the air conditioning is too high.

Many people believe that body language reveals other people's inner thoughts. Problem is, it's too easy to misinterpret the signs. I believe people mirror the body language you present to them. If you're enthusiastic, the prospect will be enthusiastic. If you're uncomfortable in a meeting, the prospect will be, too.

If you want to generate positive body language in you prospect, you've got to lead the way. Here are three great ways to do that:

1. SMILE. Nothing communicates pleasure better than a smile. It's the international body language everyone understands. People can't help but smile back, and once they smile, they're apt to be more receptive to what you have to say.

2. GIVE A FIRM HANDSHAKE. Many a good impression has been ruined by an ineffectual or overly vigorous handshake. The physical contact of two hands meeting gives you an unparalleled degree of bonding. But you've got to do it right. Grasp the other person's hand fully and firmly.

3. MAKE EYE CONTACT. Twelve years ago, hen I was about to go into business for myself, I asked a good friend if he had any advice. His simple words of wisdom? Make eye contact. There's no substitute for looking a person in the eye, smiling sincerely and saying "Hay, it's nice to meet you." When you're making an important point, be sure to look into the other person's eyes.

One of my business partners, who is approaching 70, recently said to me, "What makes me happy now is that I don't do business with people I don't like, don't feel comfortable with or don't trust, even if that means turning down business. I've learned that unless those things are present, you have to walk away."

I believe that the eyes are the windows to the soul. When I work with someone, the trust and comfort level I sense from looking into his or her eyes is stronger that any contract (although my attorney wold beg to differ). That's the body language I trust.

Top-rated sales, management and motivation speaker BARRY FARBER (ww.barryfarber.com) is the author of 12 Cliches of Selling and How They Work.