Your so-called life

Entrepreneur, March, 1999 by Eric Freedman

Want to loosen your business's lock on your time? Start by making a commitment to one or two regularly scheduled activities, especially on weekdays. Join a bowling league or take ballroom dancing classes. Regularly accompany your child to swimming or gymnastics lessons. Volunteer for a few hours in your child's day-care center or elementary school once a week.

The second step is to schedule - and keep track of - periodic events, including parent-teacher conferences, field trips needing parental escorts, soccer games and music recitals. You may miss a few, but it's easier to avert business conflicts if these family events are written into your schedule early on. If you have school-age children, at least plan to occasionally take time off during school holidays.

Third, use a pen - not a pencil - to record significant dates, especially anniversaries and family birthdays. Take your spouse to lunch. Make sure you're home for your child's birthday party.

At the same time, flexibility on a daily basis is important. Keep in mind that crises will arise and your business will occasionally demand your presence outside regular working hours. As Parr observes, "Business life may require [that I attend] a board meeting at night or read at home. I don't try to fight that anymore."

Flexibility works in both directions, however. "If a friend calls me at the office, I talk to him," Parr says. "If I take a five-day business trip, when ! come back, my bills have to be paid, the laundry's got to be done; if I have to take an hour off to do that, I do it. I don't feel guilty." A flexible mind-set makes it easier to deal with the inevitable: children who get sick and must stay home from school, cars that break down, and baby-sitters who don't show up, all of which may force you to rearrange your work hours.

FITTING IN FAMILY

Making time for family outside of business hours isn't the only way to encourage balance. "Some entrepreneurs are including their families in their businesses more and more," notes Dan Pierce at Northern Illinois University. "Schedules are getting more flexible, and technology is allowing people to work from home and interact with their families during the day."

When Hilbert founded her company, she "hired" her husband as a part-time evening instructor while her 8-year-old helped with bulk mailings. Over the years, Hilbert's children have held a variety of positions in the company. Hilbert's daughter did secretarial work for her while in college, and her son handled marketing while in law school. Today, two of her four children work in the business - one daughter is the human resources director and one son is the director of marketing. "We're a very close family," says Hilbert.

Two years after establishing his firm, Parr married, creating a blended family with three children. When the children were young, Parr's wife worked at the business from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., then went home to be with the kids after school. The children grew up and the couple later divorced, but Parr's ex-wife remains with the firm as its marketing director.