Mind over manners: what you need to know to make a great impression at your next business meal

Entrepreneur, May, 2003 by Nichole L. Torres

DO YOUR PALMS SWEAT WHEN YOU think about hosting a business meal? Do you shrink in terror at the idea of holding the right fork? Do you know what the proper seating arrangements are? With so many rules to keep straight, we went to Dana May. Casperson, business etiquette expert and author of Power Etiquette: What You Don't Know Can Kill Your Career (Amacom), for practical tips to help you clear your worries clean off the table.

Before you even get to the restaurant, advises Casperson, have a few topics of conversation ready. An interesting tidbit about yourself can be a great opener, for example. "Plan some questions you can ask, because people like to talk about themselves," she says. Because it's improper to talk business until after the entree dishes are cleared, make sure you're ready to discuss current events, good movies, business books and the like before and during the meal.

The right outfit is essential to any business lunch, dinner or tea. For daytime meals, typical businesswear is appropriate (unless your daily attire is super casual, in which case you should step it up). In the evening, you should dress a bit more formally, though this can vary depending on the restaurant you choose. Casperson also recommends wearing an eye-catching tie or lapel pinto help spark conversation. "Wear something interesting up near your face," she suggests. "People will remember you."

Generally, seat your most important guest to your right. And if you've invited your guests, you're the host, adds Casperson. Make it clear upfront that you'll be paying. A quick statement before you sit down can avoid awkwardness at the end of the meal. Simply say, "You'll be my company's guest today." You can even arrange to pay the tab in advance or at least ask the wait staff to bring you the check.

Avoid ordering alcoholic drinks, because some companies frown on mixing business with alcohol (If you are in the wine business, however, it would be appropriate.) After the entree is cleared, it's time to start talking business. Now's the time to take out papers and other documents--but keep them out of sight until then. Offer your guests coffee and dessert (it's OK to discuss business while enjoying these).

"Remember," says Casperson, "what people see across the table, how they see you handling your knife and fork, is how they see you handling business."

Got Game?

USEFUL START-UP MOVES FROM A POPULAR BOARD GAME

PLAYING MONOPOLY WAS A BLAST AS A kid. Buying Boardwalk and Park Place. Passing Go and collecting $200. Building an empire. Now that you're an entrepreneur, why not take some of those Monopoly lessons and apply them to your business?

That's the idea behind Everything I Know About Business I Learned From Monopoly (Running Press) by Alan Axelrod. "The great lesson of Monopoly is to flex your risk muscle," Axelrod says. "In Monopoly, a cautious strategy can never win." Axelrod says the game is all about the calculus of opportunity. Passively letting opportunities pass you by effectively plays into the hands of opponents.

Because the object of the game is to be the last one standing, you must be both ethical and ruthless. In business, that means making decisions that benefit your company. "It's also helpful to be decent, polite and courteous, and to negotiate with others to form alliances," according to Axelrod. "Any business, especially a startup, has to create a corporate karma where what you put out there is going to be paid to you."

Of course, Monopoly differs from real-life business in that your real-life object isn't to create a true monopoly. When that happens, it's the end of doing business because you've driven out your competitors. "Greed is never going to be sufficient to drive an on going business," says Axelrod. "Business has to be an exchange of value."

In your real-life business, apply this key lesson from Monopoly: "Figure out ways not to lose the sense of fun, of play," Axelrod says. "Once you lose that, your imagination narrows, and your ability to take risks narrows."

A Dream Come True

THE INS AND OUTS OF STARTING YOUR OWN CONSULTING SERVICE

First, says Riggio, pick a point of entry where you already have expertise and familiarity. What are you passionate about? "The more specific, the better," he says. "Think about it as though you're entering a funnel from the small end." Be tightly focused and position yourself in that small area--you can't be all things to all people. Use your specific expertise to persuade your first few critical clients to take a risk on you; only then can you expand your horizons a bit.

WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN LAID OFF FROM your corporate job or you're just ready to strike out on your own, you're not alone if you dream of starting a consulting business. To make that dream a reality, Joseph Riggio, CEO and president of JS Riggio International Inc. in MahWah, New Jersey, has developed a program to help aspiring entrepreneurs launch consulting businesses.

Second, present benefits that are recognizable and tangible to your potential clients. Whether you're a weight-loss consultant or a small-business consultant, make it personal. "If I can say to [a client], 'I'm going to show you how to lose weight or how to stop smoking or how to make a million dollars,' [the client] can understand that," says Riggio.