Shark repellent: keep bullies at bay with these negotiating tips

Entrepreneur, August, 2005 by Marc Diener

If you react to intimidation by counterattacking, walking away or caving, there's a better way: Stand your ground, and negotiate.

* STAY COOL. Above all, relax. Ignore the theatrics. If your opponent keeps interrupting, politely ask him or her to stop. Create a tactful time-out, such as another appointment. Not reacting may take supreme self-control, but your maturity will pay off. Also, don't at low experts, celebrities or business leaders to psych you out.

* REFOCUS ON THE ISSUES. Intimidation is not the issue. Your deal is. No matter how long it takes, keep bringing the discussion back to the real concerns: price, services, time periods and so on.

* SLOW IT DOWN. Reset the pace. Pause before you answer. Go over things one more time. Start taking notes. Say you'll think about it and get back to them. Intimidators would prefer to hustle you into agreement. Don't let them

* ASK QUESTIONS. Favor open-ended ones, the kind that can't be answered by a simple yes or no. Once your opponent starts explaining and discussing, it's no longer intimidation--it's negotiation.

A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, MARC DIENER (diener@pacbell.net) is author of Deal Power.