Have a heart; don't be afraid to get a little emotional in your ads

Entrepreneur, August, 1998 by Jerry Fisher

To promote her service, Rochford developed a brochure that's very professional and represents precisely what she offers - but it may need to go under the knife. No, not for anything like a heart transplant, because the heart of the brochure is functioning just fine. But the all-important cover needs to be treated for a case of consultant-itis. I'll explain the affliction and its symptoms so you can put your own advertising under the microscope.

If the front of your brochure has as its main focus a logo and terse description of your services, it may well be suffering from this insidious disease. Consultant-itis, in this instance, is the belief that it may be unprofessional or unseemly for someone in the healing arts and sciences to inject salesmanship into his or her advertising. I've touched on this type of problem in other columns this year because it has become increasingly prevalent, and it would be a shame if otherwise smart business ideas went down the tube because of this advertising oversight.

How can you prevent it? Check the words on your cover for empathy and humanity. In other words, does your message reach out to readers and address their state of mind? One of the principal objectives of a cover headline is to strike as directly as possible at the heart of the situation confronting your readers.

I give Rochford credit for fashioning a concise and smart one-line description of her business: "Personalized Surgical Planning from Preparation to Recovery." But the cover needs some emotion. What kind? How much? Here's how the former nurse can decide. If she were to give a talk at a local senior citizens center about the benefits of her services, she would probably make just the right empathetic and emotional connection with members of the audience. That same kind of feeling deserves to be on the front of her brochure in the form of a headline.

For example, one way to put it might be this: "Your upcoming surgery: How to help make it come out just the way you want." Notice I used the word "help"; that's a "hedge" word. Obviously, there are factors out of the patient's control that will determine the success of the procedure. But patients can empower themselves by making smart preoperatire and postoperative decisions to maximize the good effect of the surgery. Inside her brochure, Rochford says, "As soon as we have taken care of all the details and assisted you in making all the necessary arrangements, you can relax, be comfortable and let any fears or concerns go away." That same kind of connectedness to the prospect also deserves a place on the cover.

Q: I've read that prospects are willing to read long copy about a service business as long as you keep it interesting. So how do you keep it interesting?

A: First of all, keep in mind that longer copy doesn't mean looser copy. Don't feel that having the space to say more gives you license to tell your life story or pontificate on matters of little interest to the reader. Stay on one track only: how readers are going to personally benefit (become smarter, richer, slimmer, and so on) by using your product or service.

Moreover, keep your wording concise, just as you would if you were pressed for space. As I've mentioned before, I have a mantra taped above my computer screen: "Cut it 'til it bleeds," meaning I need to edit the copy until it's as succinct as possible - and this holds especially true for longer copy. On that note, keep in mind that when people read advertising, they rarely give it their full attention. Wording that doesn't tax the brain will keep readers interested in reading your 1,200-word sales pitch.

Also, give it great, steaming gobs of emotional appeal. Long novels about people and their emotions are usually the bestsellers. Finally, give a rough draft to someone unlikely to have an interest in your product or service. If it can keep his or her interest, it's got a heckuva good chance of maintaining prospects' interest, too. And remember to make it look inviting: A wall of words can be a complete turnoff. For visual relief, break it up with provocative subheads, sidebars and short paragraphs.

Q: I've always envied restaurants' ability to use their exhaust fans to sell their food by encouraging those tantalizing aromas to drift out to the hungry masses. What can other businesses do to capture customers that way?

A: Well, I wouldn't suggest that a gym use this tactic, but what if that gym had a marquee that, each day, displayed another provocative fact about the benefits of exercise and fitness? For example, "People who exercise 20 minutes a day have 40 percent fewer heart attacks," or "Lose 10 pounds in two weeks without dieting," or "Regular workouts greatly reduce your chances of getting cancer." Over time, I could imagine passersby becoming motivated to at least come in and see what the gym offers toward these fitness goals.

If you run a clothing store, what about placing live mannequins in the windows instead of plastic ones? If you operate a kids' electronic game emporium, you could have an actual kid playing one in the window, or outdoors in warm weather. If you're an optician, you could offer free eye-chart demonstrations outside your store. Think about what you could demonstrate inside your store, in the parking lot or near the front door that might intrigue potential customers to give your product a try.