FEATURE/Funniest Lawyer Jokes: Results of a Reader's Digest Challenge

Business Wire, Oct 21, 1998

PLEASANTVILLE, N.Y.--(BUSINESS WIRE FEATURES)--Oct. 21, 1998--Reader's Digest recently challenged visitors to its website, www.readersdigest.com, to send in their funniest lawyer jokes.

"We struck a nerve when we asked for lawyer jokes," said Tom Lashnits, assistant managing editor at Reader's Digest magazine. "Our readers sent in thousands of submissions. It makes me glad I'm an editor and not a lawyer."

Here are three favorites from Laughter, the Best Medicine(R) , in the October issue of Reader's Digest, on sale at newsstands now. For more humor, visit "Joke of the Day" at www.readersdigest.com.

-- An attorney was on his death-bed in the hospital. When a friend

came to visit, he found the lawyer frantically leafing through

the Bible. "What are you doing?" the visitor asked. The sick

lawyer replied, "Looking for loopholes." -- Contributed by Mary

Bann

-- Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their

respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed

our new satellite navigation system," bragged one, "we've cut our

emergency response time by ten percent." "Not bad," the second

paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic

patterns, we've cut our average time by 20 percent." "That's

nothing!" said the third paramedic. "Since our ambulance driver

passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in

half!" -- Contributed by Paul Carreiro

-- Question: Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die

instead of the normal six feet?

Answer: Because deep down, they really are good people. --

Contributed by John Cordeiro

Reader's Digest welcomes and pays for short humor contributions. Four-hundred dollars goes to every true, unpublished story selected by the editors for the following departments: -0-

           Virtual Hilarity -- computer humor
           Tales Out of School -- funny stories about life in high
           school
           All in a Day's Work -- humorous happenings on the
           job.
           Life in These United States -- anecdotes illustrating
           humorous or appealing sidelights on the American scene
           Campus Comedy -- anecdotes connected with college
           experiences.
           Humor in Uniform -- amusing stories about life in the armed
           services.

Contributions can be e-mailed to laughlines@readersdigest.com (remember to include your name, address, phone number and date) or sent to the appropriate department at Reader's Digest, Box 100, Pleasantville, NY 10572-0100.

Reader's Digest magazine is available by subscription ($24.47/year) by calling toll-free 1-888-DIGEST2 (1-888-344-3782). Reader's Digest is read by nearly 100 million people around the world each month.