The Dilbert Principle

Electronic News, Oct 21, 1996 by Grace I. Zisk

Scott Adams. The Dilbert Principle. HarperBusiness, New York, 1996. 336 pp. $20.

Some years ago, I represented my department on a management-employee committee whose (ostensible) purpose was to give the workers in the trenches real input into management decisions. At one of our meetings, all of the workers were united in their opposition to a proposed administrative change. We knew what we wanted, and the issue was clear cut.

The meeting began with the facilitator introducing a currently new discussion technique. We would organize our comments into four categories: What We Do, What We Know, What We Need, and What We Want--with all ideas listed (with multicolored felt-tipped markers) on large newsprint flip charts. Since this was a monthly meeting that began after work, and supper was provided, you can guess what happened. Time ran out, and we had to postpone discussion of What We Want until the next meeting. The next meeting's agenda ignored the topic and shortly after, management's plan was implemented.

This is the stuff from which Scott Adams, a former mid-level manager for Pacific Bell Corp., created the daily comic strip Dilbert in 1989. Its success (proving that the funny pages are definitely not for children!) spawned six Dilbert books with titles such as "Always Postpone Meetings with Time-Wasting Morons" and "It's Obvious You Won't Succeed by Your Wits Alone." Someone at HarperBusiness (or more likely, Adams himself) had the bright idea of combining the comics with text to produce this double spoof. It's a satire on management practices and personnel--as well as on the seemingly endless flood of management BOOKS. The hilarious result is The Dilbert Principle, subtitled "A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads, and Other Workplace Afflictions."

Remember the Peter Principle? It stated that "capable workers are promoted until they reach their level of incompetence," thus becoming bosses. Taking this one step further, Adams writes: "The basic concept of the Dilbert Principle is that the most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management." In other words, the Dilbert Principle removes from the equation any question of previous competence or capability. Adams contends that everyone, including himself, is an idiot at least some of the time, but the business world is the place where we notice idiocy the most. That's because "at work we think everyone should be guided by logic and rational thinking," he explains, and "...the central tension of business (is that) we expect others to act rational even though we are irrational."

This book is meant to give you a good laugh, but all real humor is based on truth. In fact, Adams incorporates letters and E-mail messages from his fans that describe experiences even more outlandish than his own witty anecdotes. "E-mail from the Cubicle Trenches," a section on the importance of the right office furniture, reminded me of some chairs a Very Important Department Head that I once reported to had in his office. This was years before anyone analyzed the significance of workplace decor. The chair arms in front of the desk were made of loose, movable leather straps, making it impossible for underlings to sit down and relax in Mr. Big's presence: Your arms pressing down on the leather made the stiff chair back whack you smartly on the back and head. Probably everyone who reads Dilbert can recall such "Humiliations"--as Adams titles this chapter. It includes this typical message (name withheld to protect the employee): "Now that we've reengineered, we have fewer managers than we have windows! Big problem, but we have a solution. We've erected five-foot-high partition walls in front of the windows, so that non-managers can sit there without offending the pecking order."

I also can testify personally (alas--too late!) to the truth of Adam's observation that "it's often your clothing that gets promoted, not you." He advises: "Always dress better than your peers so your clothes will be the ones selected for promotion. And make sure you're in your clothes when it happens. One man made the mistake of bringing his dry cleaning to work and ended up as a direct report to his own sports jacket." In the same vein, the author concludes his roasting of business leaders (a section which consists of practically all comic-strips or E-mail correspondence) with some observations on "The Importance of Hair for Male Leaders...At the top of the executive heap," he observes, "you consistently find men with thick, medium-length, parted-at-the-side hair. It's the kind of hair that turns silver with time, never thinning. Perma hair..." As for women, he advocates swearing as a vital success factor, second only to "who you know."

In the true business-book tradition, Adams offers strategies, methods, and advice. It's definitely tongue-in-cheek, BUT! Have you ever been asked for your honest opinion by upper-level management? The author warns: "Resist this temptation at all costs." Or, in a chapter titled "Machiavellian Methods" for "gaining wealth and personal power at the expense of people who are studying how to be team players," does this advice remind you of any negative experiences? "WORK ON PROJECTS WITH NO VERIFIABLE RESULTS...The best jobs are those that have results that cannot be measured." Among these are listed "Strategy, Anything with 'Media' in the name, and Long-term reengineering projects." "Bad Jobs" named include those in "Sales, Programming, and Customer Service," among others.