The long road back: in one of the season's most inspirational stories, Raiders center Barret Robbins has emerge from his personal hell and is now trying to re-establish his Pro Bowl credentials

Football Digest, Jan, 2004 by Dennis Georgatos

BARRET ROBBINS PULLED OFF a sweat-soaked jersey, slipped out of his cleats, and began jabbering with Mo Collins and Frank Middleton, his teammates on the Oakland Raiders' offensive line. It was, in so many ways, a typical postgame scene in the locker room. And for Robbins, that was precisely what made his return to the playing field in September so special.

"Having been through all the things I've been through, to be able to come back and play at this level and help this team, it's all I ever really wanted to do," Robbins says. "It means everything."

Once overwhelmed by alcoholism and a bipolar disorder that kept him out of what would have been the biggest game of his life--the Super Bowl last season--Robbins has fought his way back from the depths of despair to once again become a Raiders mainstay.

"Depression is a hard thing to overcome. But I stuck to my guns. I believed I could do it, and I did," Robbins says. "I'm just really happy to be back playing center for the Raiders, and with a little bit of luck, I'll be able to do it for a good long time."

That did not seem likely at all last January, when Robbins showed up at the Raiders' team hotel on the eve of the Super Bowl wobbly and incoherent after a daylong, depression-induced drinking binge that reportedly included a few wayward hours in Tijuana, the Mexican border city adjacent to San Diego. Sent home from the Super Bowl by Raiders coach Bin Callahan, Robbins missed the title game and then what would have Hawaii in his nine-year career.

He also drew the scorn of some of his teammates in the immediate aftermath of the Raiders' lopsided Super Bowl loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Guards Collins and Middleton both said at the time that they felt let down by Robbins and suggested they'd have a hard time flaying with him again.

But unknown to most of his teammates, Robbins had been wrestling with the dual scourges of mental illness and alcohol addiction for years. While there had been some past indications of trouble, including one episode six years ago in which a confused Robbins was found wandering through the team hotel, it was his Super Bowl meltdown that brought to light the seriousness of his mental health problems. And it was the breakdown that also rallied relatives, friends, and the Raiders organization to assist Robbins in getting the help he needed.

After the Super Bowl, Robbins spent a little more than a month at the Betty Ford Center being treated for alcoholism and bipolar disorder, which is marked by volatile mood swings. He continues to receive counseling and remains on medication as part of ah ongoing outpatient treatment regimen.

With his bouts of depression and drinking under control and an agreement to restructure his contract reached, Robbins garnered the Raiders' support in a comeback bid and also set out to regain the trust of his teammates. The process was slowed by offseason arthroscopic knee surgery, and he missed the first three games of the year before finally making it all the way back to the starling lineup on September 28 in a 34-31 overtime victory against the San Diego Chargers.

"He went through a lot of adversity, and lot of guys turned against him, including myself," Collins says. "We didn't listen to the facts and really didn't know that he had a problem; we were just going by what we saw. But he's turned it around. He stayed focused and pushed through it."

Middleton says it became evident during offseason workouts and training camp practices that Robbins was bound and determined to play again. Middleton and other players took note of that, and their support of Robbins was reaffirmed when he returned to the lineup.

"I'm happy for the cat," Middleton says. "We just want him to come out and play hard, and he's doing that for us."

Adds quarterback Rich Gannon: "It's good to have him back out there again."

Robbins says he wouldn't have gotten to this point without the help and understanding of his teammates. "I know when this thing happened," Robbins says, "that those guys were very disappointed in me, and they were also disappointed in what happened on that Sunday in the Super Bowl.

"Two negatives don't equal anything positive, so they were really upset. I understand that. But they have been key as far as having my back through this whole thing. It may not always look like it from the outside, but behind closed doors, they've been behind me the whole time. That has really meant a lot to me. It's made it a lot easier for me to make this thing happen."

Robbins hopes his oval travails and ultimate comeback can help others who suffer from a bipolar disorder. "Life doesn't always go the way you want," Robbins says. "Being able to overcome addiction, the bipolar disorder, with medication, counseling, and things of that nature, its been a lot of hard work. And I think that has been duly noted. But I think I can be an inspiration to some people out there, and I hope I am. I really do."

Moreover, after coming so close to being out of football altogether, he says he has a new appreciation "for every aspect of the game. It's a new start. I feel that and I believe that. I'm excited about where it can go."