A profile in courage: despite living with Tourette's Syndrome, young MetroStars goaltender Tim Howard isn't shying away from being a leader on the field and a role model off of it

Soccer Digest, Dec, 2002 by Michael Lewis

ROLE MODELS COME IN DIFferent shapes and sizes, and with various responsibilities. In the sporting world, it's usually how a player purports himself on and off the field and how he deals with adversity and pressure situations that make him worthy of adulation. In that regard, Tim Howard finds himself in a multi-faceted role. Not only he is forced to be literally on his toes and not crack under pressure behind the MetroStars' porous defense, he also serves as a striking example of resilience to a number of non-soccer fans.

Howard has suffered from Tourette's Syndrome for the past 12 years. Yet despite that malady, he has become one of the leading goalkeepers in MIS. "We never allowed it to deter him from doing what he wanted to do with his life," says Kansas City Wizards goalkeeping coach Tim Mulqueen, Howard's long-time friend and mentor. "It's nice to have a role model to look up to and to help understand how another person copes with the same thing you have."

Tourette's Syndrome, also known as TS, is a neurological disorder characterized by repeated involuntary movements and uncontrollable sounds called tics. In some cases, such sounds include inappropriate words and phrases. There is no cure, although its symptoms can be medically treated.

Howard isn't the first professional athlete to battle TS. Former major league baseball player Jim Eisenreich enjoyed a productive career despite TS. So did basketball player Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf (nee Chris Jackson).

Howard has a mild case--you wouldn't necessarily know there was anything amiss if you talked to him or hung out with him for a while. Still, he kept it a secret for many years. "I wasn't fully diagnosed until 1990," says Howard. "The symptoms were there for a year. We were trying to figure out what was happening. Physically, it doesn't often hinder me. But while I was growing up, trying to suppress and hide it took a toll on me mentally.

"When I got to MLS, it became another thing altogether. I now had to deal with a job and day-to-day training, and at 18, I wasn't used to doing all of that."

Howard admits he was concerned about revealing his condition. He considered the many questions that people would ask, and thought: What would my teammates say? What would the coaches say? what would the media say?

In spring 2001 after he was literally handed the MetroStars starting goalie job following the trade of Mike Ammann to D.C. United, Howard decided to reveal that he suffered from TS. "I don't know why I did it," he says. "I felt it had been long enough."

Guess what? Nothing happened with his teammates. The media reported about it in a sensitive matter and no one doubted Howard's ability as a goalkeeper. "Everyone has been supportive," says Howard. "My teammates have been amazing. My coaches have been, too. They never said a word about it. My teammates never poked fun at me, and in this environment it's kind of easy to do that sort of stuff."

Going public with his affliction was relatively painless, so Howard took it a step further, becoming a spokesman for the Tourette's Syndrome Association of New Jersey. He eventually earned the MLS Humanitarian of the Year Award for his work with the association and for his other efforts to increase awareness of TS. "I consider myself a great example of why this condition should not hold anyone back from anything they want to accomplish," says Howard. "I love to be able to pass that message on to children who might need some inspiration."

Howard certainly doesn't mind being a role model. "Ever since I've gone public about it, I've tried to become a better person," he says. "I try to hold myself to a higher standard. If others looks up to me, that's awesome. If not, that's fine, too."

Mulqueen knows the 6'3", 210-pound Howard better than any other coach. He'll never forget the first time he saw Howard play soccer--as a 12-year-old at a Rutgers soccer camp in 1991. "He was probably the best player on the field," he says. "He could do anything he wanted. His movements were so fluid. He was a natural."

Mulqueen coached Howard's youth soccer club, his first pro team, the North Jersey Imperials, and eventually was his goalkeeping coach with the MetroStars. "Tim has always been able to stop shots and to catch crosses," says Mulqueen. "If you watch Timmy play, whether he makes a great save or gives up a goal, he treats it the same way. He never gets rattled. He's very composed. He has a calming effect on his team and, let's face it, the MetroStars can be pretty volatile."

Sometimes it's easy to forget that Howard is only 23, because he conducts himself as someone well beyond his years on and off the field. But Mulqueen sees some flaws in Howard's game because of the keeper's youth. "Most young goalkeepers have to improve their decision making," says Mulqueen. "They're impulsive. And they let the game come to them instead of the other way around."

Howard agrees. "My angle play could get a lot better," he says. "I need to be more aggressive as well.

"It's about growing and learning the game. I've had conversations with Kasey Keller and he told me how many games he played in his first two years overseas before he became comfortable--and he was playing against topnotch competition."