College daughters' relationships with their fathers: a 15 year study

College Student Journal, March, 2007 by Linda Nielsen

But the bad news is that too many dads seem to feel that they are not as important to their daughters as to their sons. Even today fathers still tend to spend more time with their sons than with their daughters (Lamb, 1997; Phares, 1999; Pleck, 1997; Updegraff et al, 2001). Dads also tend to talk more, share more and give more advice to their sons (Hosley & Montemayor, 1997; Larson & Richards, 1994; Shulman & Krenke, 1996, Snarey, 1993). And in one recent study only thirty percent of the fathers believed that their active involvement in their daughter's life was vital to her health and well being (Roper Poll, 2004).

More bad news: When parents divorce or when they are unhappily married, the father-daughter relationship is more easily damaged than the father-son relationship. Because mothers and daughters tend to confide more in each other, daughters are more likely than sons to turn against dad and form an alliance with morn when things are not going well in the marriage. And if the daughter becomes her unhappy mother's friend, counselor, and confidant, the father-daughter relationship usually suffers (Booth et al., 1998; Cummings & O'Reilly, 1997; Jacobvitz & Bush, 1996). Given this, the father-daughter relationship is usually more damaged than the father-son relationship when the parents divorce (Ahrons, 2004; Fabricius, 2003; Hetherington, 2003; Knox, 2004; Nielsen, 1999).

Regardless of whether the parents are still married, throughout their lifetimes daughters and fathers generally do not communicate as comfortably, spend as much time with each other, feel as close to each other emotionally, or get to know one another as well or talk about as many personal things as mothers and daughters (Amato et al., 1997; Lamb, 1997; Nielsen, 1996; Nielsen, 2004; Way & Gillman, 2000). While bonds between mothers and children usually grow stronger over time, those between fathers and children usually do not (Bengtson & Roberts, 2002). In other words most fathers and daughters are not getting as much as they could from their relationship.

Benefits of Positive Father-Daughter Relationships

So what? Why does it matter if fathers and daughters generally do not have as communicative, as involved, or as close a relationship as mothers and daughters? It matters because fathers generally have as much or more impact than mothers on many aspects of their daughters' lives. For example, the father has the greater impact on the daughters' ability to trust, enjoy, and relate well to the males in her life (Erickson, 1998; Flouri, 2005; Kast, 1997; Leonard, 1998). And well-fathered daughters are usually more self confident, more self- reliant, and more successful in school and in their careers than poorly fathered daughters (Lamb, 1997; Morgan & Wilcoxon, 1998; Perkins, 2001). African American daughters benefit in these same ways from having a loving, supportive relationship with their fathers (Barras, 2000; Coley, 2004; Gayles, 1997; Taylor, 2003) Daughters with good relationships with their fathers are also less likely to develop eating disorders (Botta & Dumlao, 2002; Maine, 2004). In short, a father has a far reaching, lifelong impact on his daughter.