University student beliefs about sex: men vs. women

College Student Journal, March, 2008 by David Knox, Marty Zusman, Andrea McNeely

Analysis of survey data from 326 undergraduates at a large southeastern university revealed significant differences between men and women in their sexual beliefs. Specifically, men were more likely to think that oral sex is not sex; that cybersex is not cheating, that men can't tell if a woman is faking orgasm and that sex frequency drops in marriage. Meanwhile, women tended to believe that oral sex is sex, that cybersex is cheating, that faking orgasm does occur and that sex frequency stays high in marriage. Little wonder there is frustration and disappointment between men and men as they include sexuality into their relationship. Implications and limitations of the data are suggested.

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That men view sex differently from women is well established in US culture. Bill Clinton revealed this difference when he said, "Because I could" in answer to why he became sexually involved with Monica Lewinski. Her reaction to his answer was outrage. She reported that their relationship had meaning beyond stains on a dress and that Clinton had emotional feelings for her. This example illustrates that men and women sometimes view sexuality differently. How extensive is this difference?

That men and women differ in sexual behavior is well established in the literature. In national data, based on interviews with 3,432 adults, men reported thinking about sex more often than women (54% vs. 19% respectively reported thinking about sex several times a day), having more sexual partners than women (5% vs. 2% respectively reported having had five or more sexual partners in the last year), and having orgasm during intercourse more often than women (75% vs. 29%) (Michael et al., 1994, 102, 128, 156). In regard to sexual values, O'Reilly et al. (2006) found that undergraduate men were three times more hedonistic (35% vs. 13%) than women. The current study sought to identify how men and women differed in their views of various sexual beliefs.

Data and Analysis

The data consisted of 326 undergraduates enrolled at a large southeastern university who voluntarily completed an anonymous 74 item questionnaire designed to assess beliefs about men, women, relationships and sexuality. This study focused on gender differences in beliefs held by university students about sexuality.

Among the 326 respondents, 30% were men; 70% were women. The median age was 19 with a range of 17 to 58. Racial identification included 83.1% white, 12.6% African-American, and 4.3% who self identified as "other." A typical profile of the respondents is that they were experienced in dating (had been in an average of 2 serious relationships) and currently dating an average of three times a month (usually the same person).

Data analysis consisted of recoding Likert responses (1 = Strongly Disagree, 2 = disagree, 3 = Neither agree nor disagree, 4 = Agree and 5 = Strongly Agree) to disagree/agree categories and assessing male/female differences in common beliefs about sex. These beliefs included "Oral sex is not sex" and "Cybersex is not considered cheating on your partner." Responses were cross-classified with sex of respondent and assessed for significance using chi-square.

Findings and Discussion

Scoring a 1 on the Likert scale reflected strong disagreement and scoring a 5 reflected strong agreement. Following each belief, we will present the respective scores of the men and women respondents and the significance level of the difference.

1. Oral sex is not sex. Women scored 2.13: men scored a 2.6 (the higher the score the greater the belief that oral sex is not sex).

US youth culture tends to believe that oral sex is not sex and studies support this view. In a study of 164 Canadian heterosexual students, less than 25% considered oral genital behavior to be having sex. However, 97% of these respondents considered a partner who had oral sex with someone else to be unfaithful (Randall and Byers, 2003). Hence, having oral sex is not sex but if one's partner has oral sex with someone else, it is infidelity. What appears to be happening is that definitions of oral sex shift depending on the context and consequences. For example, if Mary has oral sex with Bob she isn't "really" having sex which allows her to view herself as a virgin. But if Bob has oral sex with Sally, Mary will view his doing so as sexual infidelity which threatens their relationship.

In regard to the present study, men were significantly (p<. 002) more likely to believe that oral sex is not sex. These data reflect the Clinton perspective that "I did not have sexual relations with that woman- Miss Lewinski" even though she had performed fellatio on him. Hence, men have been socialized to focus on orgasm during intercourse as sex whereas other sexual acts may be viewed as foreplay.

The issue of whether oral sex is sex is also being played out in high school by adolescents. In a study of 580 ninth graders in two California high schools, almost 20% (19.6%) reported having had oral sex (13.5% had had sexual intercourse). The adolescents (mean age 14.5) not only evaluated oral sex as significantly less risky than vaginal sex on health, social, and emotional consequences, but also believed that oral sex was more acceptable than vaginal sex for adolescents their own age in both dating and nondating situations. In effect, they saw oral sex as less of a threat to their values and beliefs (Halpern-Felsher, Cornell, Kropp, & Tschann, 2005).