Coaches' Corner

Coach and Athletic Director, Sept, 2001

ARTHUR LYDIARD, New Zealand track coach on how runners should breathe: "Breathe through your mouth. Breathe through your nose. Suck the air through your ears, if you can."

TIME MAGAZINE, 8/25/61," The umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job, and the heart of a serial killer."

WOODY ALLEN:" When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty, and go back."

MRS. JOE TORRE, on how you'd know that a woman isn't married to a baseball player: "If she had to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she'd choose to save the infant's life without considering whether there were men on base."

IAN DARKE, English soccer analyst, "Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you're 80-20 sure of winning it."

E.J. HOLUB, former Kansas City Chiefs linebacker, on his 12 knee operations: "My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget."

JIM MURRAY, L.A. Times: "What is football? Is it a sport or a concussion?"

JOHNNY KERR, on what happened after he broke Dolph Schayes' NBA record of playing 706 straight games: "The first telegram I got read: Congratulations! You're just 1,423 games behind Gehrig!"

TIGER WOODS:" I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser."

MIKE LUPICA, on the problem of being Dennis Rodman's wife: "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it."

BOB STOOPS, Oklahoma football coach, on how football has effected family's lifestyle: "My little boy won't go to bed unless we give him a two-minute warning."

TIM McCARVER, the old catcher, on why Memphis called its stadium, the Tim McCarver Memorial Stadium while he was still alive: "They named it after my arm."

K.C. JONES, basketball's premier guard, on why he always hated Wilt Chamberlain: "He once palmed my head."

OAKLAND RAIDER FAN," The season ain't over until the fat guys in our bleachers stop punching people."

CHARLES BARKLEY, after the Lakers bombed the Nets, 143-94 on the Nets home court: "Can you imagine what the score would have been if the Nets hadn't had the home-court advantage?"

JOE GARAGIOLA, on the mitt used to catch knuckle-ball pitchers: "It looks like a housing development."

BILL FOSTER, on his favorite coach while he coached at Duke: "It had to be Abe Lemons. He always called around October 18 to tell me he was giving his team a day off because he didn't want them peaking too early."

HENRY BIBBY, debunking the myth that every pro basketball player has at least a two-million dollar contract: "A lot of them do, but some have to settle for just a lousy fortune."

MRS. STEVE SPURRIER, after the Gator coach returns home after months on the banquet circuit: "Whenever I serve fried chicken, he'll stand up at the table, welcome the family, ask us for our support, and give us a quick run-down on the starting team."