Say what you mean

Automotive Manufacturing & Production, Nov, 1997 by Ted Pollock

Believe it.

An incontestable corollary of Murphy's Law is, "If something can be misunderstood, it will be."

Is there any way to protect yourself against this brutal fact of life? Probably not, but you can minimize the likelihood of it happening to you by becoming aware of those attributes that affect the way your message gets across to another person.

1. Your ability to relate to others. This includes such qualities as empathy, lack of authoritarianism, and a tolerance for ambiguity. These are the qualities that help you to sense the other person's point of view and thus get your message across in ways that will get through to him.

For example, you have to tell John Jones that the report he submitted needs substantial revision. If you are sensitive to his feelings of hurt pride and disappointment, you can temper your criticism to minimize the damage to his ego. This will help keep his feelings from interfering with his ability to understand the defects in the report.

2. Your means of communication. The method of communication you choose to use often says as much as the message itself. The words you choose; whether they are delivered face-to-face, in writing, or by telephone; your tone of voice; your gestures - all say something to the recipient of your message. For example, so simple a statement as, "What am I going to do with you?" takes on entirely different meanings if delivered with (a) a smile and twinkling eyes and (b) a frown and shake of the head.

3. The appropriateness of your means of communication to your environment. In any organization, there are customary ways of communicating. Your effectiveness as a communicator depends to a degree on your adherence to these modes. Example: you work in a fairly informal environment, but insist on communicating with your people by memo instead of simply visiting an individual and chatting. You may come across as something of a stuffed shirt and find yourself - as well as what you say - not taken very seriously.

4. Your own attitude toward the content of your message. You may be trying to convey facts, but if you harbor strong feelings about these facts, those feelings may contribute to a distortion of the message.

For example, you receive a memo from higher management instructing you to crack down on tardiness. Your own feeling on the matter is that, as long as your people get their work done, you really aren't that concerned about punctuality. But you dutifully announce at your next staff meeting that everyone is to make a special effort to arrive at work on time. There is, however, no conviction in your voice. The impression you leave is that you have gone through a formality that you don't really expect anyone to take very seriously.

5. Your attitude toward your listener. It is virtually impossible to be totally neutral about people; what we really think of them shows in a number of subtle and not-so-subtle ways. We instinctively tailor a message in accordance with how we feel about our audience.

For example, you've never liked Bill and, you must admit, you're looking forward to putting down his idea at the meeting - even though your facts could speak for themselves. Somehow, the facts don't hit the mark as they should. Bill and everyone else at the table take them with a grain of salt because of the delight you appear to take in finding flaws.

6. The rate of speed at which you communicate. There is always the possibility that you are overloading the other person's circuits by dumping more information on him than he can assimilate. Or, you may be going so slowly that his mind wanders. Either way, the result is poor communications. Speed of delivery should be geared to the complexity of the communication. The more complex the messages, the more slowly they have to be transmitted in order to be received accurately.

For example, you're late for a lunch appointment, but want to tell one of your people how to approach an assignment before you leave. You rattle off a staccato burst of background fragments, eight steps to follow, and five results you expect - all in the five minutes before your departure for lunch.

Nobody is so good a communicator that he cannot improve. Keeping alert to the variables briefly described here can help you get your message across more often and more effectively to more people.

The Care and Feeding of Problem People

Most of the men and women with whom we come into contact on the job are a pleasure to work with. But there are some other kinds, too. How can you handle them? Some types - and suggestions for getting along with them:

1. People who think you're telling them how to do their jobs and resent it. They may feel they know their jobs better than anyone else. Get them to feel that their experience can be valuable to others.

2. People who carry personal grudges. Avoid discussions about their pet peeves. If necessary, explain that you are not interested in their personal prejudices, but in running a smoothly operating department.

3. People who are wrong but won't admit it. Avoid direct criticism, sarcasm, or ridicule. Use indirect methods. For example, analyze a "similar case" without any references to them. Above all, talk to them in private.